One thing I don’t have to do very often is tell Kory off. Usually all I need to tell him is ‘no’ and he will listen and stop whatever it is that he’s not meant to be doing.
Just now I had to really tell Kory off.
After us both being unwell, I was glad to see Kory feeling a lot better today, the last few days have been hard and it’s never nice seeing your little one unwell. The last few nights Kory hasn’t been sleeping at all but last night he slept much better, he had a lie in this morning and he woke up in a very good mood. We had a lovely morning together, we ate breakfast, we played and watched tv, everything was going great.
But after dinner it’s like a switch had flicked and Kory just started having this huge toddler tantrum out of nowhere over a toy. I tried everything to calm him down but nothing was working, I took the toy off him and took him upstairs to bed thinking maybe he was tired and needed to take a nap but he just carried on and on… He started to kick and was throwing himself about, he was just getting louder and louder. I told him no and to stop but he wouldn’t listen. I really raised my voice at Kory, put him in bed and left the room. I could still hear him crying from the landing but I needed just a few minutes to myself to calm down because I could feel myself getting angry.
The crying didn’t stop and this was making me upset, I ended up going back in to him and putting my arm around him. A few more minutes of him crying and rolling around carried on until he finally gave in and fell asleep on me.
Why must he push and push and push? I didn’t want to have to shout, I’ve always said I don’t want to be one of those ‘shouty’ parents but there was just no reasoning with him whatsoever. Is there ever reasoning when it comes to a toddler? I never knew a toddler could make you feel so angry and upset.
Isn’t it funny how as soon as they fall asleep though you forget how difficult they’ve been. Like now, I’m not angry at Kory, I’m angry at myself, I just feel upset and majorly guilty. I still feel pretty unwell myself and could have done without this BS to be fair but either way I’m feeling like a pretty shit mum right now.
4 thoughts on “Feeling like a pretty shit mum right now”
This is something I struggle with too hunny. Ruby can be so difficult sometimes and as they grow and start to realise their wants and needs their little personalities can definitely clash with yours. Just remember to take the few minutes to yourself like you did and just breathe. But never feel guilty for losing your temper. Remember you are only human and can only tolerate so much. As long as you explain and apologise you’ll be surprised how amazingly understanding they can be of the human disposition. Ruby has become one of the most compassionate and understanding children I’ve ever known because I have allowed her to see me cry, fight and have to pick myself up. You’re an amazing mummy to Kory and he is DEFINITELY a credit to you and Rory! Chin up Kirsti xx from one tired and stressed out mama to another xx
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Aw thank you so much for taking the time to comment, taiya! Means a lot to hear I’m not alone and has made me feel so much better. I think because I’ve never really had to tell him off like that before I didn’t know how to handle the situation and just hoped I did what was right. Thank you so much for your kind words, I try to be the best mum that I can be and I’m on my own a lot with Kory due to the Rory’s hours at work, ect and it’s bluddy hard. There’s only Rory who tells me what a good mum I am so it means a lot to hear it from someone else, especially a fellow mum! You sound like you’ve raised an amazing little girl and should be proud of yourself too. Here if you ever want a chat xxx
Oh she’s amazing! The things we have learned about each other and ourselves in our 4 year journey has been incredible 🙂 but there have been many times when I’ve wanted to walk away for a while and just be the carefree Taiya I was before! As I said… the human disposition! As long as you are fighting for what you believe to be right for today, tomorrow is a new day! They really are more resilient than you think though hunny! To kory, you are perfect and the first time you have to shout at them properly is heart breaking! You feel like you’ve failed because you’ve never had to resort to that before 😦 but just remember all the times your mum shouted at you… and the love you still have for her ❤️
You can tell you live for kory and giving him a good life! If you are stressing, you’re doing it right! Worry shows us that we care enough!
You and Rory are both doing exceptional work!
I think it’s best when other mums lift each other up! We are all just winging it the best we can! Might aswell won’t it together xxx
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You’re not alone there, I’m sure many of us have reminisced about life before kids and how we didn’t have a care in the world. Although we would change anything about our lives now, things were a lot easier back then. I’ve never thought of it like that before, me and my mum sort of have a love hate relationship but I still love her because she’s my mum. Thank you, same to you! And I totally agree, there’s already a lot of judgement when it comes to parenting whether that’s from ourselves from others and it’s hard enough without that. I think it’s nice that mums are able to lift each other p too, that’s what we should all be doing xxx