I didn’t write this blog post for attention but I don’t know what else to do… I just feel like I really needed to get this off my chest and I know I can always write about whatever’s been bothering me.
Every day I try to be the best mum that I can be, some days I fail and some days I do okay but I feel like no matter what I do, i’m still never good enough.
Not for Kory and not for myself.
I always feel like i’m not doing enough. Even when I’ve planned activities for me and Kory to do, the second I sit down to relax for just a second I punish myself. I always think I’m making mistakes, I feel like I’m too strict, i feel like i’m not strict enough, I second guess every decision I make and I always worry i’m doing something wrong and that it’s going to affect Kory in some way. It doesn’t help when I have people telling me what to do, how to parent my child or going against what I say even though i’m his mum. But I suppose as mums we’ve all experienced that at some point.
Apart from my partner no-one ever tells me what a good mum I am, is that because he feels like that’s what he has to say to me? Am I not a good mum? I suppose it doesn’t matter to me what other people think and the only opinions that matter to me are that of my partner and Kory anyway but i see other people complimenting and uplifting each other when it comes to parenting and it would be nice if I could have that.
I can’t help worrying about this sort of stuff.
I’ve been feeling pretty low lately, drained, stressed and fed up. Not because of Kory, I’m not even sure why but I’ve just felt like everything has been getting on top of me. I don’t know if that is why I have been feeling like I have lately but this has all really been playing on my mind. I’ve been trying my best to stay focused and think positively but I’ve been finding it hard.
I never knew being a mum meant feeling so guilty…