Anxiety

Since we have been switching rooms round with Kory (see previous post Project; Kory’s bedroom) we haven’t been out of the house much as we’ve just stayed home trying to get as much done as possible so that Kory can be in his new room and so that I can get the house back to somewhat normal again. (Stuff everywhere!) I feel guilty that we haven’t taken Kory anywhere so today I had planned to take him to the park to go conker picking while it’s nice and fresh outside but the more I think about going, the more I don’t want to go.

I don’t know why but I keep thinking silly thoughts like ‘what if there’s just me and Kory at the park on our own and someone comes over?’ And to me it makes going there by ourselves seem scary and unthinkable. I know that it’s silly to think this way but I can’t help it!

So instead, we’ve ended up just staying at home again. Right now I’m watching Kory play in the living room with his toy cars, he seems happy enough but I feel so guilty for not taking him out and letting my anxiety get the better of me (again!)

I don’t know why but I’ve been feeling so anxious lately… I don’t quite understand why, I’ve always had to go places and do things on my own with Kory, I haven’t had much choice so why is this bothering me so much now? I haven’t felt this anxious for a long time.