Terrible twos

Do you ever look at your child and suddenly panic about how you’ll survive their threenage stage if this is how they behave at just 2 years of age? I did just that. It was only 8:30am this morning and we were already on tantrum number 3 in our house.

Kory woke up in a bad mood. I knew from the get go that we were going to have a bad day. It started with the light switch. Yes you read that right. A light switch triggered the first tantrum. Kory couldn’t reach the light switch to flick the bedroom light on and off and started shouting at me to pick him up whilst I was mid wee on the toilet, eyes half open because I’d only just rolled out of bed.

The next tantrum was over his breakfast. Basically, I’d put his toast in the toaster and it wasn’t cooking it quick enough for him. He was stamping his feet and shouting ‘toast! Toast! Toast!’ Over and over again. And then when it was ready and I handed it to him, he didn’t even bluddy eat it!

The last tantrum (up to now anyway!) just came out of nowhere and took us both by surprise I think. One minute we’re playing nicely together with his toys and just because one of them falls over, the next thing to happen was Kory began to scream, he was throwing things, hitting me, hitting himself and basically just losing his sh!t. Out of nowhere he was throwing this huge temper tantrum and I was just trying to ‘tell him off’ as nicely as I could, trying to remain calm and explain to him that it isn’t nice to smack rather than to have a ‘who can shout the loudest’ contest with him but it was like trying to calm down a wild animal! He got that worked up that in the end he climbed up onto my knee, cried whilst I tried my best to comfort him and then fell asleep.

I feel like disciplining Kory is something that I’ve had to do quite a lot, more than ever recently, it’s tiring and I don’t even know if I’m doing the right thing?! This is new to me, Kory is no angel but I’ve never really had to deal with this sort of behaviour before. I know we all have bad days when it comes to parenting, it’s not always going to be sunshine and rainbows and it’s important that we accept that but I’m going to be honest here, there are sometimes moments of parenting that I don’t enjoy and I don’t think I’m going to enjoy this stage at all.

The terrible twos are currently in full swing in our house.

I haven’t wrote this blog post just to complain about my son even if it does seem that way. I wrote this blog post to point out that even though I love Kory and he’s my pride and joy, there are times when he frustrates me and upsets me. Sometimes I find parenting a stubborn, strong minded 2 year old to be a struggle. I’m not ashamed to admit that the terrible twos stage has been my biggest struggle yet as a parent. I don’t enjoy every day, some days are harder than others and it’s okay to admit that. I don’t enjoy disciplining Kory, after a day like today you can guarantee I will go to bed feeling like a complete failure tonight, worrying about how I handled today’s challenges.

Did I handle the situation properly? Am I being firm enough? Am I being too firm? Is his behaviour a reflection of my parenting? Am I doing something wrong?

But the very fact that I worry about this sort of stuff, means that it matters to me and that I care. I don’t know how to be perfect and neither does Kory, all I know is to wake up every day and to try my best.

Kory, if you’re reading this when you’re older. Yes you could be a massive pain in the arse when you wanted to be but I never stopped loving you when you were being a ‘naughty’ toddler. Just because I couldn’t wait to get you out of the door quick enough some mornings when I was taking you to nursery does not mean that I didn’t love you. It just meant that after being screamed and shouted at, having toy cars rammed in my face, being told ‘play!’ 16 hundred times and after being pulled here, there and everywhere, I just wanted five minutes peace and even after a morning with you as hectic as that, I always missed you when you wasn’t home and couldn’t wait to pick you back up.

And when I brought you home, couldn’t wait to drop you straight back off at nursery. Just kidding!!

One day, when you have children of your own, you’ll understand. It would be impossible for me to ever stop loving you.

So today was a bad day, we all have them and it’s important that we acknowledge that. I have to try and keep reminding myself that like me, Kory doesn’t know how to be ‘perfect.’ We’re currently going through the terrible twos but that doesn’t make him a terrible toddler or the way that I choose to handle it, a terrible mum.