Stay at home mum

As a stay at home mum, I feel privileged that I am able to stay home and raise my child but sometimes being a stay at home mum also makes me feel like a bit of a failure.

As a stay at home mum, sometimes I feel like all I do is be a mum, my only achievement is being a mum, all I have to show for myself is being a mum and all that I am is just a mum. I do the same thing day in and day out, to most people taking care of your child, looking after your family and your home are not things worthy enough to be called achievements, I’ve been a stay at home mum for so long now that I don’t have anything else to show for myself, everything about me, everything I do and am revolves around my child and sometimes that makes me feel like a failure.

Do any of you ever feel this way?

Well if you do, I just want you to know that you are NOT a failure. As a stay at home mum myself, I know exactly how you feel. I’ve thought the same thoughts as you and I’ve felt the same way. I know what it’s like to be trapped in your own mind and to believe that you’re worthless because you’re just a mum. Other people or even yourself may not realise or believe this but what we do as mums is the most hardest and most rewarding job in the world, to some what we do may not seem like that much of a big deal but it is. We spend every waking minute taking care of our kids, learning them new things, loving and nurturing them and playing with them and it’s because of this that everything our kids know and have learned is because we have taught them. Our kids are polite, funny, clever and caring because of us. That is what we as mums have to show for ourselves and that is something to be proud of. To outsiders it might seem silly for me to class being a mum an achievement of mine but for me, being a mum is my greatest achievement and it’s what I’m most proud of in my life. Yes I would love a career. Doing what exactly? I’m not quite sure. I feel like the only thing I know how to do is look after my child and I even question my ability at doing that sometimes! But right now, I’m happy with being a full time stay at home mum.

On a bad day when I’m feeling down and in the dumps about the way my life is, I make myself feel better by telling myself that yes a career and all that other stuff would be amazing but all that stuff can wait. That can all be put on pause. But being a mum can’t and everything that we do as mums is so important. When our kids have grown up and left us and have lives of their own, we’ll have all the time in the world to do all of that stuff that we wanted to do and only then will we realise that when we thought we was ‘just’ being stay at home mums, that was the most important thing we’ll probably ever accomplish in our lives. Looking after our family and raising decent human beings is what truly matters above anything else. When we’re old and gray are kids at what we will look back at and be most proud of, not a job. None of that other stuff will even matter so why worry so much about it now!

Just remember that you are not a failure. From one stay at home mum to another.

5 thoughts on “Stay at home mum

  1. Stay at home mothers are most definitely NOT failures. Being a mother is, as far as I’m concerned, the most important responsibility on the planet. I say responsibility and not “job”. Because, as important as it is, it’s just not a job. My job is outside the home, where I go 40 hours a week to earn a living. My responsibility to my children is just as important as any mother’s, including the ones who get to stay home. My children are also polite, funny, clever, caring and loving. I take exception when stay-at-home moms imply that somehow, because they are home with their children, that their children are better off, that I may be neglecting my kids. This could not be further from the truth. My children also have the benefit of watching their mother achieve financial independence. My daughter can see an example of how a woman can have both a family and a career, if that’s what she chooses. My son can see that women in the workforce are just as strong and important and valuable. And they are to be respected.

    I, too, feed, nurture and clean my kids. I take them to doctors appointments and dentist appointments. I get them to their activities, bake for the bake sales and meet their teachers. All of it.

    We are all valuable and important. Neither is better than the other. Staying at home or juggling a career and being a mom; equally as important.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I totally and completely agree with you. I can’t speak from a working mothers point of view though because I’m not one and haven’t been one. I can imagine it’s just the same as being a stay at home mum except you have to go out to work also. Something I’d love to but unfortunately I don’t get help with nursery fees and if I was to go back to work, my wage would be swallowed up just to pay for my son to go to nursery so I’m v fortunate that my partner is in a position to be able to provide for us all on his own income. When my little boy starts school full time next year I can’t wait to go back to work! Which was the message I was trying to make when I wrote this blog post, that as a stay at home mum, because I don’t work, I often feel like a failure. I used the term stay at home mum because that’s what I am and I’m speaking about how I feel as a mother and if any other mums – working or not can relate then that’s great but I wasn’t trying to put down working mums or say that they don’t do the same thing with their children as I do with my own or that their children would somehow be missing out. In fact I don’t think I mentioned that anywhere. But thank you for comment, I can see where you’re coming from.

    Like

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