Yesterday was my birthday. And just like that, I’ve turned 25 years old.
I don’t know where the time has gone. I feel like since becoming a mum birthdays come around a lot quicker. I see that Kory is growing up so fast but without realising it, that means so am I. Another year has gone by, I’m a year older which means Kory is also going to be another year older soon and it’s actually quite scary.
I wish time would slow down!
I became a mum at 22 years old and I feel like in that time, I’ve changed as a person, I’m not the same person that I was then. Becoming a parent does change you massively, I can’t even tell you how much. Being a parent has made me grow, i’ve matured in many ways. I don’t look at the world around me the same, I see things differently. I see everything through the eyes of a mum if you will. But at the same time I feel like for a 25 year old, I haven’t accomplished a great deal in my life. I haven’t done anything with my education, I don’t have a career, or money, my own house or a lot to show for myself but I do have an amazing partner, a beautiful little boy, a baby girl on the way and a lovely home, all that I am so grateful for. That is more than enough for me but birthdays just seem to remind me of what I haven’t yet accomplished in life and I think I end up giving myself a hard time.
Yesterday I didn’t really feel like celebrating much. Birthdays for some people are a time to be happy and to celebrate but without sounding selfish, I didn’t feel much like celebrating. With each birthday that passes and each year that I get older, it just makes me sad.
This blog post is sounding a lot more depressing than I meant for it to! LOL
I know that being 25 years old isn’t old but I didn’t want to celebrate being yet another year older. I didn’t want a party with big balloons and a cake, in fact I just wanted the day to be over with but at the same time, I was gutted when my partner couldn’t get the day off work, the house was a mess and Kory was choosing to act up which meant my birthday just felt like any other day of the week and it left me feeling a bit deflated. So I can’t win!
Once my partner came home from work, I did start to feel a little better then. And after looking at all of my birthday cards on the fireplace and the gifts I’d received, I did realise that I am more fortunate than I realise and that I’m probably just being a bit silly. I got lots of beautiful cards from family and friends, lots of people online and in person wished me happy birthday, I got bought some beautiful gifts and I even got some money too. I feel very lucky.
So that was my 25th birthday! I may not have gone anywhere or done anything in particular but nevertheless I am now another year older whether I want to be or not. I am no wiser but I am trying to be a more positive person. I’m not worrying about my next birthday and what I have yet to do with my life, instead I’m just gonna enjoy my life for what it is now and be happy with my family.
Thanks for reading.