parenting

An open letter

An open letter to you, you know who you are.

Why are you here?

You don’t speak to me and I don’t speak to you, you have me blocked on social media yet here you are reading my blog.

Yes I can see who views my blog by the way!

I can only assume you’re here to snoop because you are no longer in our lives. But if you really cared and wanted to know how we were doing you would reach out, send a message or pick up the phone. Actually, no you wouldn’t. That’s what family does. And although you are supposed to be ‘family’ you don’t and have never acted like it.

I wish I didn’t have to share something like this on my blog, something that is so negative. My blog is my space, a place for me to talk openly and honestly about my parenting yet I don’t feel comfortable doing that when I know I’m also sharing the same information with the likes of you. Information about my kids that you don’t even bother with and information about our family life that you so criticised.

I would have loved to have been able to start this letter in a pleasant manner but your unpleasant behaviour towards me does not give me much choice but to say it as it is. I am Rory’s partner and mother to our children. I express gratitude to you for how the man I love and adore has turned out even if he did drag himself up. He is an amazing person, fiancé and dad. Me and Rory have been in each other’s lives for 10 years. We were friends before we fell in love and even though we were only 15 years old when we met, our friendship and our love only grew stronger.

Unknown to you, during the time we have been together, Rory has shared with me everything he has been through. I wonder if you even know everything? You never bothered to ask. I know his fears and he knows mine, we have both been there for each other through difficult times. We are good together and despite this you actively looked for and found flaws in me. You openly disliked me and made it obvious with your snide remarks. When I decided based on many situations that you had a problem with me and when confronted with the truth, you didn’t like it. Which is fine because your behaviour allowed me to wise up and distance myself from you, a decision that I made for me and only me and one that I don’t regret making.

Do you even know how at just a few weeks pregnant you made me feel? Your words made me feel like I wasn’t a good enough person, partner and/or mother. In the whole time I’ve been a mum, no one has ever judged me so hard and made me feel so bad about myself. You picked me apart. You picked apart my parenting, you made a remark about every life choice I’ve ever made and you looked down upon every decision we have ever made even down to the house that we live in. All my life I have known just how judgemental people can be but no one has ever been so nasty and insensitive towards me before but like the lady I was raised to be, I rose above your behaviour and stayed being pleasant and friendly towards you even if I went to bed crying every night because I didn’t feel like it was my place to say anything and I didn’t wish to cause any tension between anyone because that’s how much Rory means to me. I don’t know what you tell people about what happened and I don’t care, you can say it was all said as ‘banter’ and you can say that I got things twisted but I know how I was made to feel and I know I would never make anyone feel that way. That’s how I’m different from you.

You made your views perfectly clear and one would think that you’d have stopped there given the fact that surely you could see how happy we are as a family. Or maybe you didn’t like that and that’s why you said the things you said. I don’t know and I never will since you are never going to admit that you were wrong for saying any of those things and you haven’t tried to make any amends either. But since you’re already here, reading about our lives, I’ll make it easier for you and catch you up.

We still live in the same property, the same council house that you looked down on except it’s more than just a council house to us, it’s our home, it’s lovely, it’s where we’re raising our kids and it’s filled with happiness. We’ve recently had another baby, a beautiful daughter. She is absolutely gorgeous and she looks so much like her big brother. Kory is getting big now, he is so bright and clever and to your distaste, that’s all down to my parenting! We’re planning our wedding for next year and we couldn’t be happier.

You can continue to act as if I don’t exist, you can ignore me when you see me, you can pass me as a stranger on the street and you can continue to be angry about our lives because that won’t stop us from being happy and being bitter won’t make you happier. I realise that I can’t stop you from reading my blog and I’m not willing to stop writing blog posts as I am immensely proud of my blog so enjoy viewing and hearing about our lives from me, ironically the same person you don’t wish to have a relationship with.

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