To Kory and Kora,
We are living through some history textbook times right now. There is a virus, Covid-19, that has shut down most of the world. It has forced schools to close, shut down the places that you like to visit, kept people from their loved ones and sadly even taken some away.
Kory, you have some understanding of the current situation. You know that there is a ‘bad cold’ and that’s why we can’t socialise with our family and friends the same as we did before and you know that this is why you haven’t been to school or been anywhere at all really. You have taken this all in your stride and I am so proud of you. You have done marvelous. But Kora, you have no idea. You’re only 9 months old and you have spent most of your life in lockdown and you don’t know any different. I don’t know if this is better or worse but that doesn’t stop me from feeling bad. I’m sorry I can’t take you to baby groups or on play dates like I once did with your brother when he was just a baby. I have hardly stepped through the door with you. You’ve only been around me, your dad and your brother properly and it shows because you’re wary of others. I am sorry for this and I wish the world was different.
We have spent many weeks in lockdown, at home and social distancing ourselves from others but we are reaching a stage now were places are beginning to re open. They need to, people need to work because people need money to live but people are also worried about this, me included, we are all fearing the unknown. We haven’t experienced anything like this before – at least not in my lifetime anyway but we have to see this as a positive. It’s a sign of things hopefully returning to somewhat normal however our way of living won’t be like how it once was before the pandemic for quite some time.
Kory, your school reopened a few weeks ago and I still haven’t made the decision on whether or not to send you back. I know how much you love school and how much you have really missed going there and seeing your teachers and playing with your friends. When your nursery was forced to close I was as upset as you were, sometimes doing the school run was the only time I got to speak to another adult that day, I was going to miss speaking with your teachers about how well you were doing and seeing your face light up when I picked you up but I was more upset for you because I didn’t know how long your school was going to be closed for and I knew how much you would miss going. Of course I was happy when I heard the news of schools reopening but I still worry about what may happen if I do send you back to school. I’m worried that if I send you back to school to socialise with your friends and teachers who all come from different households I could then undo everything I have done to protect you, your sister, us. This is why it’s hard for me. I want to make everything as normal as possible for you but as your mum, it will always be my job to keep you safe and that is what I am trying to do. I hope you can understand.
During all of this, people have had different views and conflicting opinions on the matter. Some people chose to carry on with their lives as normal, they didn’t let the virus stop them from doing anything, they carried on living their lives as they did before – which is completely their decision but we as a family chose to follow the advice that had been given to everybody – which was to stay home, only leave your house for work if you’re unable to work from home, food or medicine supplies. A while after that, the rules changed again from ‘stay home’ to ‘stay alert’ the rules were still there but relaxed a little. We as a family again followed the rules. To us, being asked to stay home in order to stay safe and to protect the NHS seemed like a small price to pay when there were doctors, nurses and keyworkers working tirelessly to fight this virus and to continue providing services for every person and all we needed to do was sit on our couch.
So, for over 12 weeks we have stayed home and lived our lives in our own little bubble. We hadn’t seen anybody or been anywhere and that was so we could keep ourselves, our loved ones and those who are vulnerable – safe. But it hasn’t been easy. Of course it hasn’t. Being at home with two children can be particularly hard on any given day, never mind day after day of being unable to go anywhere and it’s been hard for you two as well. Mostly you Kory as you are more aware of what’s going on and because it was as if over night everything in your life changed. You were no longer able to just pop to your Nan’s house or to see your friends. It has been hard not being able to see our family and friends who we miss very much. There’s been days when we’ve all felt fed up and felt like we just needed to get out of the house and there’s been days when we’ve done lots of fun things together and enjoyed our time at home. It’s been hard for everyone but I can say the pandemic has also been a lesson for me. I believe living life in lockdown has changed my outlook on life. I definitely appreciate the things that I used to just take for granted before all of this happened. Never again will I take for granted being able to see the people I love.
Changes are being made all the time in regards to lockdown, the reopening of businesses and households being able to mix. You both got to see your nanas and your grandad recently for the first time since we went into lockdown and it made them and you both so happy. In the next couple of weeks things could be totally different again and I hope that they are. For the better. All I know is that I just want things to get better as i’m sure everyone does. I know the world and it’s people have had varying opinions on this whole situation from the start and possibly how it all should have been handled and how we as people should deal with this but I think the one thing we can ALL agree on is that all any of us want is for things to get better. I want that for us, for our family and friends, for the world, for everyone but more than anything, for you two. I want to be able to look back and all of this just be a thing from the past.
I can’t keep the world safe but I can try my best to keep you two safe and I always will.
I hope one day when you’re both older and you’re reading this back. I hope you, Kory, don’t remember a scary time when we were stuck at home but a time when we spent lots of time at home together and had the most fun.
And Kora, you probably won’t remember anything at all about all of this but this applies to you too.