Filling in the gaps

Hi! It’s me again.

After reading back my two previous blog posts, I realised I jumped from talking about how I was feeling unsure about letting Kory return to school to suddenly him saying goodbye to nursery on his last day there. So, I just felt as though I wanted to come on here and fill in the gaps. So, Here goes.

I’m guessing from reading my blog posts you’ve gathered that in the end, Kory did end up returning to nursery. This wasn’t an easy decision for me to make, I had so many arguments with myself as I just wanted to do what was best for Kory. Of course I wanted to keep him home and keep him safe but I also wanted him to have a bit of normality and for him to see his friends again. Like many other children, he’d already had so much taken away and at 3 years old, had to try and get his head around that. As an adult, it was much easier for me to understand what has been happening but to explain that to a young child and to try and get them to understand, it wasn’t the easiest thing to do. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared myself so to try and remain calm and positive during a pandemic for the sake of my child has been hard. All I wanted was for things to get back to normal again.

But when I was told that Kory could return to nursery as he was in one of the selected year groups to do so, I wasn’t sure I was ready for normal. I didn’t let Kory return to nursery straight away as I really was in two minds about what to do. When we first went into lockdown and the schools closed, Kory was really missing school. He was missing his teachers and missing playing with his friends. I felt so bad for him. However, on the other side of things, I also felt wary and as more weeks passed, I felt as though I didn’t want him to return to nursery at all with everything that’s going on and I just wanted to keep him at home with me for as long as possible. And it’s because of this that I kept him home for the first two weeks of the schools being reopened as I still hadn’t made my mind up but in the end, I think what helped me to finally make a decision was when it was announced that it would be mandatory for all year groups to return to school in September.

So, unless I was going to be homeschooling Kory. It looked like he would have to return by then anyway and this virus isn’t going to have miraculously disappeared by then completely. I also felt that this was the best way to prepare Kory for returning back to school full time once the term starts. Not only this but September is going to be big for Kory. It’s a new start for him but also a massive change. He is going to be starting a new school in a new class with new children and a new teacher and new hours. He will be attending Monday to Friday all day instead of his usual two and a half days a week at nursery and so I thought he could benefit from a bit more schooling before breaking up for the summer holidays and before his return properly in September. It also meant that Kory got to say goodbye to his nursery properly and I felt that gave him the closure that would help him.

And so, for all the reasons mentioned above, I allowed Kory to return and I am glad that I did and I feel like I made the right choice. Returning to school gave Kory the normality that he wanted and needed and it made me and him both so happy when he got to see his friends and his teachers again. I’m so glad he got to see them before having to say goodbye.

I’m not writing any of this to explain myself. I don’t feel like anyone should have to explain their choices to anyone, all any of us can do is do what is best for ourselves and our families. Everyone has different circumstances and opinions and therefore what works for one parent may not work for another or they simply may just have different views on the matter and that is okay too. I think we would all do well to judge each other’s decisions a lot less. I chose to send my child back to school but I can also respect those parents that chose not to and their reasons for that. It really isn’t any of my business and who am I to judge?

Whether you chose to send your children back to school or not, I hope you are all well and I hope for the sake of us all that things continue to get better.

Take care,

Kirsti, xo

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