Yesterday me and Kora had some well over due mummy and daughter time.
I took Kora to the park after the school run Friday morning and her face was a picture. She asked for Kory a few times because she loves her big bro and of course it’s fun for them when they play together but she loved running round the park solo, going down the slide and being pushed on the swing and I loved watching her.
Although I felt a little guilty because I knew Kory would have loved to have come to the park as well but was unable to because he was at school, I felt more guilty for not doing more of this type of stuff just with Kora. I know why I’ve struggled with this as I have spoke about the way I feel towards this previously but it didn’t take away the sting of guilt I felt when I looked at her and seen how much fun she was having and how terrible I felt for not doing it sooner. From asking myself why have I not done this? Why am I such a bad mum? I know it’s just my silly way of thinking… I get lost in my own head sometimes but so what if I take one to the park and not the other? I would never purposefully leave either one of them out and we can go to the park as many times as we want, we can always go again and again and again, together and one on one. Not to mention the many things that Kory gets to do that Kora doesn’t. He gets invited to birthday parties, he plays out… And I don’t feel the need to feel guilty for that so I shouldn’t feel guilty for this.
Kora loves spending time just with me and I love spending time just with her, just the two of us. And I don’t need to feel guilty for having that time. That time is important. I have no regrets with Kory, I spent all my time with him before he started school full time and I look back on our time together with so many fond memories, we did all sorts together and I don’t wanna wish I had spent more time with Kora, I want to make sure I have all that time with her as well.
Unless you have more than one child, I don’t think you’ll understand how hard it is to want to do everything for and with them both equally and how easy it is to feel guilty. But it is something that I’m continuing to work on.
We love having mummy and daughter time.