Do you ever sit down at the end of the day once the kids have finally gone to bed and think to yourself ‘have I done enough today?’
I always ask myself have I done enough today and could I have done more and I do this regardless of how much i’ve actually accomplished on any given day. Granted that some days I may or may not accomplish more than on other days but I always ask myself that same question, as though what I have done is never enough. Don’t get me wrong, there are days when I go to bed feeling great because we’ve all had a really good day on that particular day but most of the time I go to bed feeling like I could have done more. Like I should have done more.
I ask myself, could I have played with the kids that bit longer? Could I have been more patient? Have I done enough for my kids today? And before I know it I’m beginning to question if i’m even a good mum at all.
I know that I’m not perfect. Sure, there are some days when I probably could have done more. I could have tidied the house more, I could have stayed more calm when the kids were misbehaving but have I done enough?
Are my kids fed? Safe? Listened to? Are they happy? Yes, yes, yes and yes. So yes, although I COULD have done more. I have done enough today and every other day and so have you.
I need to remind myself of this more often. Whether I am a good mum or not should not be determined by how much I raised my voice that day or how much or how little I played with the kids and their toys for. Being a good mum is getting up every day and taking care of your kids even when you might not feel like you want to get up out of bed. Being a good mum is listening to my children and making them feel safe. Being a good mum is making sure my kids know how much I love them. Not by how many tasks I tick off my to do list that day.
I am not asking for credit or expecting praise for doing what is required of me which is being a mum and taking care of my kids because that is what we as parents do every day regardless but I am promising myself that I will appreciate myself and what I do more because being a mum is hard. Some days are harder than others and I don’t need to value myself on how much I’ve managed to get done in a day. Some days I might not do much other than watch a movie with the kids and other days we might be up, dressed and out of the house all before dinner time ready for a day filled with fun but neither day makes me any less of a mum. On those days when I feel lousy and that I haven’t achieved much, if my kids go to bed knowing how much their mum loves them I’ve already achieved more than enough for that day.
It’s because I care that I worry whether or not I’ve done enough for my kids and wonder whether or not I could have done more because I want the absolute best for my kids of course but the very fact that I worry about this type of stuff proves that I’m a good mum already. So I will no longer be punishing myself at the end of every day. It’s easy going to bed feeling good about yourself when you’ve had a positive and productive day but what I need to work on is being okay with not always being able to do everything and accepting that doing that is still doing enough.
I’m still a good mum and so are you.
I have wrote this blog post for myself and for anyone else who might wonder whether they have done enough or whether they are enough and I’m here to say that, I have done enough, I do more than enough, I am enough and you are too.
P.S. yes, even on the days when you and the kids don’t even bother to get dressed and even on those days when you’re pushed to your limit and you might shout more than you’d like to.
Remember that you’re still a good mum, that those kids of yours still love you anyway and that you’re doing enough today and every day for you and your family.