We’ve all been advised to stay home and practice social distancing due to Covid-19, so I have been putting together lots of ideas for me and Kory that we can do whilst we’ll be spending all our time at home for at least the next few weeks. Not just to fight boredom but to also give him some sort of education with the schools now being shut too for who knows long!
We’re all in the same boat right now and it sucks but it is so important that we follow the advice we’ve been given and socially distance ourselves if we want to protect people and to get things back to how they were before. I’m trying not to see it as being ‘stuck at home’ but as a way to spend more time with Kory doing activities that we otherwise may not have had the time to do and that’s helped. A few weeks ago, before this nightmare began. How many of you would have loved the opportunity to stay home and have all the time in the world to do the things you’d like?
The first thing I did was I sorted a drawer for Kory just with different activities inside; work sheets, craft stuff and that sort of thing. The next thing I did was I made a list of different activities we can do. Pinterest is a great place to find lots of ideas. Here’s mine if you’d like to have a look: www.pinterest.com/lifeasthelonsdales I’ve pinned lots of a different ideas and even have a board called ‘For the Kids.’ Which has come in very useful during all of this!
When you’re a parent, there will be good days and bad days. Fact. Days when you have to shout more than you’d like to, days that make you question yourself as a parent and days that leave you feeling like utter crap. But in saying that, there’s also those days that you don’t want to end, days when you’ve genuinely had fun with the kids and days when you go to bed feeling like a rockstar. For me, realising this made it a lot easier for me to accept that not every day is going to run smoothly or even be enjoyable and that that’s okay, and in doing so, I allowed myself to cut me some slack.
For instance, yesterday was a bad day but today has been a good day. Not every day can be a good day, I wish it could but it just can’t, can it? Otherwise we wouldn’t have ‘good days’ would we, without bad days to shine light on the good we’d just have… days, I suppose? When we’ve had what I would refer to as a ‘bad day,’ it’s usually a day when I’ve had to lose my sh!t with the threenager to get him to listen or like yesterday, a day when out of nowhere he just decided to throw the tantrum of all tantrums. A day when even though I did nothing wrong (I wasn’t the one throwing a giant wobbler for no reason!) I end the day going to bed feeling miserable and guilty.
And to be honest, I’d had enough of feeling that way. I’ve always been really tough on myself when it comes to parenting right from day one, always doubting myself over the slightest of things and I can admit that but it was starting to make me feel exhausted. Both physically and mentally. I’d had enough of crying to myself in bed at the end of every sh!t day.
God, I sound pathetic.
So last night I didn’t do that. Instead I had a takeaway, watched a movie and drank some fruit cider. Friday night is usually mine and Kory’s takeaway night but because he’d been a turd yesterday I made him his tea and once he’d gone to bed I ordered a takeaway but for myself. I’m not gonna lie, I did start to feel guilty when I was eating my cheesy chips (Kory’s favourite) but then I got the urge to slap myself and reminded myself that having a takeaway was a treat. One that yesterday, he didn’t deserve.
Being a parent is tough, it is without a doubt the hardest thing I have ever done but I can’t keep giving myself a hard time. I just have to keep reminding myself, there will be good days and bad days. I don’t know what tomorrow has in store for us, we can only see but one thing is for sure, I won’t be punishing myself at the end of the day.
Just remember that at the end of every day no matter how sh!t it’s been there is always a new day tomorrow… I can’t promise you that it will be a good one but it’s a new day nevertheless and there will always be tomorrow.
I have heard, read and seen this be said so many times to other parents, mainly from other parents and while I can see where they are coming from and what they’re trying to say. My children honestly are my best friends. They’re my very best friends and sometimes my only friends! And I can’t help but wonder, Is that such a bad thing? I don’t think so.
Don’t get me wrong, while I will always be their parent first and foremost and of course as their parent it is my job to teach them right from wrong, discipline and how to be good people. I think it’s also my job to make them feel safe and let them feel like they can come to me about absolutely anything. I think I can manage doing both and I think all of those things are equally as important as each other.
Growing up I was always close with my mum and I can’t ever imagine my children not being that way with me. I want that closeness and despite what other people think, I think that’s healthy and good for children to have that. If my children can’t come to me with their problems then who can they come to? I hate the thought of them ever feeling like they wouldn’t be able to talk to me, their mum. I would imagine not being able to confide in your parents can make you feel very lonely and I don’t want that for my kids. I am the one person they should be able to come to about anything no matter what it is without feeling like they’re gonna be judged.
I think being open with your children is so important and how better to do that than to show them love and have a good relationship with them by forming a friendship. I am so proud to say that me and my kids do have very good relationships. Especially me and Kory with Kora only being 6 months old but I need those kids as much as they need me. We are so close and I wouldn’t change that for the world.
Ive made many mistakes as a parent but I don’t think being friends with my kids is one of them.
I think we can all agree that what we are all currently living through is a very confusing and scary time for everyone. I have never experienced anything quite like this in my life time before. The Coronavirus has impacted more than just peoples health. It’s had an impact on everything. It’s affected our day to day lives, it’s affected work, school and even leaving the house. Since the Coronavirus hit, everything just feels surreal. Almost apocalyptic. Different. And Kory, who is 3 years old has picked up on this.
When all this first came about, there wasn’t much I needed to tell him and I wasn’t even sure what I should have told him. The Coronavirus has caused a lot of uncertainty and nobody really knew what to do or expect. In fact, I know I still don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing. But as events have changed and escalated, I have tried my very best to protect and shelter Kory from what is happening around him but 3 year olds are more aware of their surroundings than we might realise and he definitely picked up on the fact that things have started to change.
Kory started to ask questions. He wanted to know why schools were shutting to be cleaned, he wanted to know why he had to wash his hands more often, he wanted to know why more and more people at his school were off sick, he wanted to know why his teacher hadn’t been in and in the coming days when his school closes until further notice and if we have to go into lockdown, I’m sure he will have even more questions. So, I didn’t see what good keeping him in the dark would do so without scaring him, I explained the Coronavirus to him the best way I could. I explained the Coronavirus to a 3 year old the best way that I knew how.
First of all, I asked Kory how does it make him feel when he has a cold and a cough to which he replied ‘rubbish.’ So I told him that there is a new sort of cold going around except when you get it, it can make you feel worse than rubbish and sometimes it can make some people very poorly so in order to try and stop people from getting this nasty cold, we have to stop the germs from spreading and to do that we have to wash our hands more. People have been off school if they’ve been poorly so that they don’t make anyone else poorly, the same with a normal cold and we have to shut the school and keep it clean because that also helps to stop the germs. He must have been satisfied with my answers as he just said ‘Ok, mum. Do you want on my game with me now?’
I have just been trying to keep everything as normal as I possibly can for Kory, I do not want him to have to deal or worry any of this. I really have tried to remain calm for the both of us despite everything but as someone who already suffers with anxiety, all this talk about the Coronavirus has only added to that and let me tell you, it hasn’t been easy trying to keep my stress levels and feelings under control. I can’t help but worry sometimes as I’m sure you’re all the same and these are worrying times.
Let’s just all hope and pray that everyone stays well and that things start to get back to normal soon.
In this blog post I am going to be talking about the C word. No, I’m not talking about the word cunt. I’m talking about the Coronavirus. Although the Coronavirus is a bit of cunt – let’s be honest.
The Coronavirus has ruined holidays, stopped social events and gatherings, forced parents to stay locked at home with their feral children, (just kidding!) caused idiots to bulk buy which if this is you, then you’re the C word too. I understand people want to be prepared incase they have to unexpectedly isolate themselves for 2 weeks but no one needs 40 bog rolls! And if you have bought essentials just to sell on for triple the original price to make yourself a profit then you are the biggest C word of all. In all seriousness though, the Coronavirus is the worst because it has made people poorly and it’s even cost some people their lives and I will be so glad when all this is over with. I worry not only for myself and my family and friends but for others and those who are vunerable and at risk.
I know that I am sick of hearing about the Coronavirus as I am guessing the majority of you are too. (Which is kind of ironic because here I am talking about it…) You can’t switch on the tv or look at your social media without hearing or reading about this bluddy virus. And although it’s important and we need to be aware of what’s happening in the world and how to stay safe, a lot of what we’re hearing and reading is just making people worry.
So this post isn’t going to be all about the Coronavirus and I’m not going to tell you anything you’ve probably already heard a million times already. Instead I’m just going to give you some ideas of what you can do if you do find yourself needing to self isolate and I’m just gonna try and lighten the mood a little.
If you do need to self isolate and have family or friends that can pick up some shopping for you so that you don’t have to leave the house, then do that. Just don’t get them to take a 3 year old that doesn’t have a cough but will sense the tension and cough really loudly in the middle of Tesco causing everyone to give them and said 3 year old the death glare. Like Rory did.
If I was in isolation, I would like to say that I would do absolutely nothing and just eat snacks and binge watch Netflix ALL day but let’s be honest, my kids would never let me do that and I would more than likely just end up watching Peppa Pig on repeat all day until I went insane but if your children will let you binge Netflix series (I’m not jealous at all I promise) then that’s something you could do.
So here goes, here’s my list of things to do if you need to self isolate:
Start a new series
Watch a movie
Read a book
Learn something new
Enjoy doing nothing
Organise and tidy your home
Do that thing you’ve been meaning to do
Have a clear out
Do something crafty
Teach the kids some new skills
Whatever it is that you want to do, if it involves staying inside then knock yourself out! In the meantime, let’s just try our best to carry on as normal and if we can then to help one another.
I can’t wait for all this to blow over. See you on the flip side, motherf%ckas!
I was really pleased when I found out I had been selected by Emma’s Diary Parent Squad to test and review a full size pack of improved Pampers Pure Protection Nappies!
Pampers Pure Protection Nappies are made from premium cotton, responsibly sourced cellulose and plant based materials that come from sugarcane and are produced with 100% certified renewable energy from a wind energy plant in Norway. They are dermatologically tested, hypoallergenic and are certified by the British Skin Foundation as clinically proven for sensitive skin.
After receiving my pack of Pampers nappies to try with my little one, I put them straight to the test and I have to say, I was impressed by them. The first thing I noticed about the nappies after trying them on Kora was the size of them. Kora is currently a size 2 and I feel the nappies are more generous in size compared to other nappies we have tried and I thought that the Pampers nappies offered her a very comfortable fit. I tried the nappies on Kora during both the day and at night and the nappies never leaked and did not cause any type of irritation to her soft, sensitive skin. We are absolutely loving these nappies and their super cute design too!
All in all, I would definitely recommend the Pampers Pure Protection Nappies to any parent. See for yourself how soft these nappies feel!
Thank you, Emma’s Diary Parent Squad for introducing us to these nappies and thank you to you for reading my review.
* Please note, I received this product in exchange for an honest review. All views and opinions are my own. *
I don’t want to offend anybody by writing this blog post. I can appreciate that being a parent whether you’re a mum or a dad is at times difficult but it just seems to me that society seems to be more accepting of dads, they give more praise to dads for a whole lot less, are more judgemental to mums and expect so much more from us mums but at the same time are so ready to pick us apart and let us know what we’re doing wrong.
Here is a perfect example of this:
On Monday I woke up feeling as though I had the flu. I was freezing and couldn’t get warm no matter what I tried, my body was aching all over, my head was pounding and I just felt nauseous. And so did Rory. We both felt awful but despite this, Kora still needed me to feed her bottles, to change her and to get her dressed for the day and Kory still needed me to make him breakfast, to get him dressed and of course he wanted to get out his toys and for me to play with him. So why Rory took the day off from work and got to go back to bed. I did what I needed to.
Now there is nothing wrong with Rory spending the day in bed recovering but had that been me who went back to bed, I’m sure I would have heard the following:
“That was good of him to take care of the kids for you.” Or “Did he not mind looking after them why you went back to bed?”
Um, I should think not – they’re his kids too!
Except when Rory went back to bed, no one said any of those things about me to Rory and that’s because as a mum, it’s just expected of me to do all the above and more.
Later on that day, my Nan rang and asked how we all were, I told her how I was feeling and she asked if Kory wanted to go to her house for a bit. I was so grateful. I knew he’d have a better time there than with me, the lurgy monster who felt as though I didn’t even have the energy to string a sentence together, never mind play superheroes and have him volleying off my head so after asking him if he wanted to go, I got him ready. Once Kory had gone, I phoned my Nan to see if he was okay, after letting me know that he was, she said that I should go and put my feet up for a bit now, which sounded perfect and was just what I needed but after putting the phone down, instead of making the most of this time I had by putting my feet up, I realised the house looked like a bomb had gone off so I made a start on that.
I did a whole load of washing, washed, dried it and put it away. Washed the pots, sprayed and wiped round everywhere, made the beds and hoovered all whilst feeling like a bag of shite. I suppose all that could have waited but if I didn’t do it then the truth is that it wasn’t going to get done that day and I would have only ended up trying to do it again later but when Kory was home.
By the time I’d finished doing everything I needed to do, Kory came back home but luckily, as much as I’d missed him he was so tired after having such a good day with his nan and grandad that he went straight to bed which did mean that I could have an early night myself which was definitely needed so it wasn’t all bad. I did eventually get to go to bed myself but only after I’d done everything that needed to be done and that’s my point to this post.
I wish I could just sack everything off and be like ‘Right, that’s me off back to bed then!’ But when you’re a mum and you’ve got kids to look after you can’t just do that, they never stop needing you. No matter how rubbish you feel. But for some reason it seems to be that it’s more acceptable for a dad to be able do that than it would if it was me, a mum. It’s expected of me to just be able to carry on as normal.
Now I don’t want anyone to think that I am knocking dads at all because I’m not. What i’m trying to say is that we seem to live in a society that puts a lot more pressure on mums to hold the fort. Kory and Kora have an amazing dad. He works really hard in order to provide for them and helping raise them and as much as I appreciate everything that he does, I can’t help but feel that he should do those things anyway. He is equally as responsible for our children as I am. We both made those babies, we both have a responsibility to take care of them. I know dads work hard to provide for their families, they might be exhausted at the end of the day and deserve a break but guess what? So do mums! I know dads work hard but so do I but without the breaks, without the pay and without sick days and so does every other mum whether they go to work or stay home with their kids.
So if you’re a dad that thinks you can clock off the minute you walk through the door because you’ve ‘been at work all day,’ then don’t! No one expects you to walk through the door and wash the pots, make tea, put 3 loads of washing in or scrub the floors but just run the kids a bath, get out their pyjamas ready for bed, offer to do the bedtime story tonight because as a mum, I can tell you that it makes all the difference. You’ll still get to put your feet up or play that game you’ve wanted to play, it’s just that by helping that little bit, us mums will be able to put our feet up at the end of the day too.
I know that there are good men out there that know how to contribute, I know this because I have one. Sometimes it’s not dads that are the problem. It’s society and their old fashioned views on parenting roles.
I wish I was a dad sometimes because it seems like it would be a hell of a lot easier than being a mum these days.
If you read yesterday’s blog post, you’ll know that i’ve been feeling a bit low lately and i’m sure that many people who read what I wrote thought:
What problems do you have?
What have you got to complain about?
And they’d be right to think that because my problems are a lot less significant when I think about what problems other people are facing. I know that and there will always be someone who has it worse than you. I hate feeling down and stuck in a rut (who doesn’t?!) I don’t choose to feel this way and I’m not usually one for feeling sorry for myself, in fact I’m usually the person who everyone comes to with their problems but I’m only human myself and I just think things had got a bit much for me.
Since then I’ve had some time to think about things and I’ve realised that although I can’t necessarily help how I think and feel, if I want to change my mindset and how I feel then I’m going to have to actually do something about it. Sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself has never helped anyone. Life has a habit of trying to bring you down and it can keep you down too – if you let it.
I read a quote that said ‘Remember when you used to wish for everything that you now have’ and it really resonated with me. I used to dream of having a family of my own, a son, a daughter, a partner, a car, a nice home and to be happy and I have all of that. I am so lucky and I realise that but when you feel like I do, you could have everything in the world and you would still feel sad and that made me feel so guilty because what a waste. I have everything I could ever possibly want and I’m not going to enjoy it because I’m going to let my negative thoughts and feelings get in the way of that? I knew I needed to make a change.
I have already started to make changes. I read back to myself my blog post from yesterday and it was clear for me to see what the problem was/is. The problem lies with how I think.
So here is what I think I need to do to help with how I’ve been feeling:
I need to train my brain to think differently.
I need to remind myself that small inconveniences don’t have to be such a big deal.
And I need to think more positively.
Yes the knob on my oven has snapped clean off but at least the rest of the oven still works and the knob can be replaced.
Yes the headlight and side panel on my car are broken but at least I have a car that runs and these things can be repaired.
My phone screen has smashed but my phone still works and I can always get a new screen.
I feel lonely because people don’t spend much time with me and/or my kids? Then that’s their loss. I have my kids and they have me.
I am not a person who sits around and feels sorry for themselves, that’s just not who I am, it never has been and I’m actually quite embarrassed by how low I’ve let myself get. I thought about quitting but then I remembered who is watching… My kids.
So watch this space because I’m about to find Kirsti again…
I entered the new year feeling very optimistic, I was thinking positively and I had high hopes for the year ahead but the year really hasn’t started off so great for me. Literally nothing has or is going right for me at the moment. Or at least that’s how it feels to me anyway.
For the last few days my anxiety feels like it has come back in full swing, it really has hit me like a ton of bricks and knocked me for six. I have cried at least once every day, the kids must think I’m bat shit crazy. I feel awful. I feel exhausted – physically, mentally and emotionally, I feel inpatient and I feel like i’m ready to snap. I feel like there is a million thoughts going round my head all. the. time and that my head could just explode at any given moment. I have never felt lonelier. I have spoken about this before but I still feel that no-one bothers with me or the kids, no-one asks do we want to go anywhere or even if we’re okay and it sucks! Not only this but the knob on my oven has decided to snap clean off, the headlight on my car has stopped working, the side panel is hanging off the side of the car door and to top everything off I’ve smashed my phone screen as well which is just absolutely fanfuckingtastic.
These may not seem like big issues to most of you because, let’s be honest, well they’re not. There’s people out there with much bigger worries and losses in their lives than a smashed phone and having a broken headlight isn’t exactly the end of the world either but when you feel like I do, which is complete and utter crap, whenever anything like this does happen it just adds to my already never ending list of stresses when I already feel like I’m drowning in a sea of things that I need to sort or worry about.
I realise that I do need to change the way that I think and try not to let things get me so easily worked up. Worrying about things doesn’t change anything and I can accept that things could be a lot worse, it’s just that when you try to remain positive even through all the doubt and everything still goes tits up for you it feels like a slap in the face. I don’t want to be a negative Nancy (even though I am being) and be the one to complain and rant, in fact I feel quite pathetic for doing so but I’m just finding everything so hard at the minute and besides, I am allowed to have a good old moan, right? I guess I just felt like I needed to get all of this off my chest since I feel like I don’t have anyone else to talk to about all of this anyway.
So, if you’ve made it all the way to this point I’d like to thank you for reading the whole of this blog post and listening to my complaining. I hope your year has got off to a better start than mine has!
I promise the next time you hear from me it will be on happier terms but in the meantime, f%ck dry January… Pass me the wine!
With only 6 hours left of 2019, I thought I would try to write this post before we enter the new year.
Firstly, I would like to recap on the year. And what a year it has been… Kora was born and completed our family, Kory became a big brother, I learned some things about myself and I honestly feel like I’m in a better place now than I was when the year started.
2019 has been a better year than I could have ever imagined!
Last year I set myself some goals for the new year, as I do every year. And these were:
Read read read. I used to always read, I used to always have my head in a book but it’s been so long since I started a book and actually finished it. It’s not because of lack of interest – I love books, it’s having the spare time to read that’s an issue! But I’ve made a promise to myself that I’m going to make more time for reading, even if it’s just a couple of pages at night and in doing so, hopefully fall back in love with reading all over again.
Blog more. I’m really enjoying blogging at the moment and eventually I would like my blog to go somewhere so this year I’m going to blog as much as I can and take blogging more seriously.
Stay positive. I like to think I’m a pretty positive person anyway but sometimes I let things get me down and I can get quite stressed. But life’s too short for that and I just want to be happy
So how did I do? I honestly think I could have done better. I did attempt to read more but I didn’t read as many books as I’d have liked to but with two kids to look after, I don’t get a great deal of time for myself.
I did try to blog more and for a while I was doing well with that but then I started to let it slip again and I also neglected my social media too. I still am neglecting my social media if I’m being completely honest. I don’t know what it is I just don’t feel in any rush to get back into that just yet and besides, I think a social media break can do us all some good from time to time.
I actually think I did quite well with the staying positive one. I’m quite positive anyway but I am known for letting things bother me quite easily so that was something I wanted to work on for myself and I think I managed to do that. I let things go over my head a bit more and I feel better for doing so.
So with the year coming to an end, I think it’s a good time for me to set myself some more goals. If there’s ever something you want to achieve or work on there is no better time than right now to make a start but I just think there’s something about a new year with new beginnings to focus on what you want for the future.
So here goes…
Make something of my blog. Yes – no more excuses, this year I am going to take my blog seriously, knuckle down and seriously put in the work. Blogging started off as a hobby for me, it’s still a great way for me to talk about my feelings and share my experiences with you all but blogging has also given me a lot of opportunities and I’m interested to see where else I can take that.
Spend more time together as a family. We do spend a lot of time together as a family but a lot of it is spent just at home. Since having Kora I’ve found it difficult trying to get out of the house, I am getting better at it but it has taken me a while so my goal for the new year is to take the kids to more places, do more things and make more memories together.
And that’s it. Not much really, nothing big and extraordinary but small goals that I’d like to achieve. I’m not going to say I want to read more because I feel like I set myself that goal every year so this year I’m not going to and if I get to read then that’s great! And if I don’t then it’s no big deal.
I hope you all have a lovely New Years Eve whatever your plans may be. Every year on New Years we do the same thing, it’s sort of a New Year’s Eve tradition for us if you will.