An open letter to my children during the Covid-19 pandemic

To Kory and Kora,

We are living through some history textbook times right now. There is a virus, Covid-19, that has shut down most of the world. It has forced schools to close, shut down the places that you like to visit, kept people from their loved ones and sadly even taken some away.

Kory, you have some understanding of the current situation. You know that there is a ‘bad cold’ and that’s why we can’t socialise with our family and friends the same as we did before and you know that this is why you haven’t been to school or been anywhere at all really. You have taken this all in your stride and I am so proud of you. You have done marvelous. But Kora, you have no idea. You’re only 9 months old and you have spent most of your life in lockdown and you don’t know any different. I don’t know if this is better or worse but that doesn’t stop me from feeling bad. I’m sorry I can’t take you to baby groups or on play dates like I once did with your brother when he was just a baby. I have hardly stepped through the door with you. You’ve only been around me, your dad and your brother properly and it shows because you’re shy of others. I am sorry for this and I wish the world was different.

We have spent many weeks in lockdown, at home and social distancing ourselves from others but we are reaching a stage now were places are starting to re open. They need to, people need to work because people need money to live but people are worried about this, me included, we are all fearing the unknown. We haven’t experienced anything like this before – at least not in my lifetime anyway but this is a positive. It’s a sign of things returning to normal however it won’t be like how it once was before for quite some time.

Kory, your school reopened a few weeks ago and I still haven’t made a decision on whether or not to send you back. I know how much you love school and how much you have really missed going and seeing your teachers and playing with your friends. I am worried that if i send you back to school to socialise with your friends and teachers who all come from different households I could then undo everything I have done to protect you, your sister, us. This is why it’s hard for me. I want to make everything as normal as possible for you but as your mum, it will always be my job to keep you safe and that is what I am trying to do. I hope you can understand.

During all of this, people have had different views on the matter. Some people chose to carry on with their lives as normal, they didn’t let the virus stop them from doing anything, they carried on living their lives as they did before – which is completely their decision but we as a family chose to follow the advice that had been given to everybody – which was to stay home, only leave your house for work if you’re unable to work from home, food or medicine supplies. A while after that, the rules changed again from ‘stay home’ to ‘stay alert’ the rules were still there but relaxed a little. We as a family followed the rules. To us, being asked to stay home in order to stay safe and to protect the NHS seemed like a small price to pay when there were doctors, nurses and keyworkers working tirelessly to fight this virus and to continue providing services for every person and all we needed to do was sit on our couch.

So, for over 12 weeks we have stayed home and lived our lives in our own little bubble. We hadn’t seen anybody or been anywhere and that was so we could keep ourselves and our loved ones safe. But it hasn’t been easy. Of course it hasn’t. Being at home with two children can be particularly hard on any given day, never mind day after day of being unable to go anywhere and it’s been hard for you two as well. Mostly you Kory as you are more aware of what’s going on and because it was as if over night everything in your life changed. You were no longer able to just pop to your Nan’s house or see your friends. It has been hard not being able to see our family and friends who we miss. There’s been days when we’ve all felt fed up and felt like we just needed to get out of the house and there’s been days when we’ve done lots of fun things together and enjoyed being our time at home. It’s been hard for everyone but I can say it’s also been a lesson for me. I believe living life in lockdown has changed my outlook on life. I definitely appreciate the things that I used to just take for granted before all of this happened. Never again will I take for granted being able to see the people I love.

Changes are being made all the time in regards to lockdown and the reopening of businesses and households being able to mix. You both got to see your nanas and your grandad recently for the first time since we went into lockdown and it made them and you both so happy. In the next couple of weeks things could be totally different again and I hope that they are. All I know is that I just want things to get better as i’m sure everyone does. I want that for us, for our family and friends, for the world, for everyone but more than anything, for you two. I want to be able to look back and all of this just be a thing from the past.

I can’t keep the world safe but I can try my best to keep you two safe and I always will.

I hope one day when you’re both older and you’re reading this back. I hope you, Kory, don’t remember a scary time when we were stuck at home but a time when we spent lots of time at home together and had the most fun.

And Kora, you probably won’t remember anything at all about all of this but this applies to you too.

Love always,

Mum, xo

More activity ideas

Hi! So here as promised are some more activity ideas for the kids. I’m not sure if anyone has found any of my ideas so far useful but if you have then here are some more for you!

So, without further ado. Let’s get straight to it!

Leaf print picture:

This activity is essentially two activities in one. Before Kory could print his leafs we had to collect some first so while out walking the dog, we collected lots of leaves.

Once Kory had collected his leafs, he brought them home and made a start on his picture.

To make your own leaf print picture you will need:

  • Leafs (obviously!)
  • Paper
  • Paints

And that’s it!

Here’s how to make your picture:

  • Choose your coloured paints and pour a little bit of each one onto a piece of paper
  • Press your leaf into the paint
  • Then, press your leaf down onto a separate piece of paper with the paint side down in order to make your leaf print
  • Repeat this until you are happy with your finished leaf print picture
  • Leave to dry
  • And that’s all there is to it!

If you’re not wanting to use paints and would prefer a less messy experience then here is an alternative way to make a leaf picture that me and Kory have done together in the past. (See link)

Next activity, biscuit decorating:

This activity is super easy for the kids and depending on their age they should be able to do it with very little help from you.

Here’s what you will need:

  • Biscuits
  • Chocolate (to melt)
  • Edible decorations

Here’s how to do it:

  • Set up everything that the kids will need for this activity (A plate with biscuits on, a bowl with decorations inside, a bowl for the melted chocolate and a spoon)
  • Melt the chocolate (This is the part you may have to do)
  • Make sure the chocolate isn’t too hot for your child
  • With the spoon, let them spread the melted chocolate onto the biscuit
  • Once all the biscuits have chocolate on, add chosen decorations
  • Leave to set or eat right away
  • Easy peasy!

DIY Dinosaur garden:

Kory LOVES the outdoors. He loves being outside and he loves playing in the garden so while the weather has been so nice, I wanted to find something for him to do outside.

This activity was a lot of fun for Kory. It was a little messy too but nothing that a bath later couldn’t fix! What I like about this activity is that it doesn’t have to be dinosaur themed, you could make lots of different gardens. It also didn’t cost very much for us to do either as we already had the pot, the dinosaur figures and the solar light. The only thing we needed to buy was the compost which cost just 99p!

If you’d like to make your own DIY themed garden pot, you will need:

  • Compost
  • Empty garden pot
  • Your chosen decorations
  • Solar light (optional)

Here’s how to do it:

  • Add the soil to your empty pot, filling to the top
  • Add your chosen decorations (which in our case was dinosaur figures)
  • Finish off by adding your solar light (This is totally optional, we just happened to have a spare one laying around)
  • And that’s pretty much it!

We’ve also, been on an outdoor scavenger hunt and ticked off a list of things we found while outside.

We have baked some cupcakes together. If you haven’t got a baking kit already at home there are lots of easy to follow recipes online.

Kory has also been practicing how to write his name.

So those are my activity ideas I thought I’d share with you. I hope you liked them! I might not be sharing as many posts like this one as often at the moment with it being half term but I will keep you updated on that.

As always, thank you for reading and please let me know what you think.

How are you?

From looking at my picture you will be able to tell that I’m sat outside in my pyjamas with a bottle of beer and a bluddy good book (I guess that means I’m doing okay! Depending which way you look at it anyway…) Today Kory played out in the garden which meant I was able to have some time to myself which was nice. So, i’ve spoke with you all previously about how i’m coping living in isolation but how are YOU?

These are crazy times we’re living in at the moment and it feels as if the world has gone mad, doesn’t it? I don’t know about you but most of the time I have no idea what day it is never mind what I should be doing with all the extra time we have on our hands.

When the schools had finished I tried to keep Kory has occupied as I could while also trying to give him some sort of education at home. While I may not be able to do as much or as well as his teachers might with him I was going to give it a good try anyway and it did seem like we had a good thing going for a while too. Well, for the first week or so. We’d established a routine of some sort and I was doing at least one school focused activity with him a day but some days were harder than others and on those days I probably let Kory play on his playstation for longer than I should have but do you know what? That’s okay. It’s okay if the day goes to plan and it’s also okay if it doesn’t.

Our kids have been affected by what’s happening around them too and I wasn’t trying to stress Kory out more by forcing him to sit down with a pen and paper but more on that later…

If you have kids, how have you found ‘homeschooling?’ Or is that something you’ve chose not to do?

I think either option is great. While I was trying to do at least one education based activity with Kory a day, I also accepted that I probably wasn’t going to be able to teach him what his teachers do and so instead I tried to make the activities more fun and relaxed for him. His school probably wouldn’t think of ‘biscuit decorating’ as educational but it was something.

It is now officially half term and Kory would have been off school over Easter anyway so I’ve not been making him do anything. I’ve been following his lead really. The weather has been lovely so we’ve made the most of that and played lots in the garden, we’ve also done some painting and quite a bit of baking too but that’s about it really!

How have you been keeping yourself and the kids busy lately?

I will be writing and sharing another blog post over the next few days that will include lots of different activity ideas on how you can keep the kids busy. I hope this helps!

Kory is really looking forward to Easter and so am I. We sort of have our own Easter traditions and I’m hoping that this will allow us to be able to forget about all the craziness that’s been happening all around us even if just for one day.

Are you and/or your kids looking forward to Easter? Do you have any of your own Easter traditions? I’d love to know!

Well, that’s all from me for now. I just wanted to pop in with you all to ask how you are doing since you all listen to me ranting on! Thanks for reading and I hope you’re all well.

Stay home, stay safe.

Kirsti, xo

How I’m really coping in isolation

I’m writing this blog post because I just felt that it was important for me to share with you all truthfully how I’m really coping in isolation as I haven’t really spoken about that. I’ve shared with you what activities me and Kory have been doing to keep him occupied during the lockdown and it may look like I have it all figured out but I really haven’t. Like the majority of us, I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing from one day to the next. None of us have ever had to live in isolation before. The truth is I’m not coping as well as you may think I am with the situation at all. I have moments when I feel okay but then I remember what’s happening and it comes over me like a wave and suddenly I feel overwhelmed by it all.

I’ve had a couple of bad days recently. I know I’m not the only person in the world who has been affected by Covid-19 (obviously!) and the effect it’s had on everything around us. Words like ‘quarantine, lockdown and isolation’ have become the norm but just being at home, not being able to see my family or to go out with the kids has really affected my mental health.

On those days when I feel like my head is all over the place, going out for a walk fixes that, going to see my family can fix that but that isn’t an option right now. I’ve always struggled with anxiety and even depression but I feel like the circumstances we are all living in at the moment have heightened that. The thought of even going to the supermarket terrifies me. I’ve walked the dog with Kory just twice in the space of two weeks and although I was grateful for the fresh air and I know Kory was too, all I could think about the entire time was just getting him straight back home where I know he’s safe. I’m trying my best to hold it together because I don’t want Kory to sense that something is wrong and to worry about anything but that’s the part I’m finding really hard. Holding it together. Especially as the weeks go on. I know that I have to be thankful that we have our health and each other and I am, I think that’s why I worry so much because I don’t ever want anything happening to anyone I love.

I do feel pathetic even saying that I’m finding the situation we find ourselves in difficult at the moment when there are people out there working so hard on the frontline like all the people working for the NHS who are providing treatment to those who have been directly infected with Covid-19, doctors and nurses who have had to move out of their own family homes in order to protect their loved ones and all the key workers who have made sacrifices as well. And all I’ve been asked to do is stay home where it’s safe. I praise each and every one of them who are pushing on and providing services for the public during all of this uncertainty because I sure as hell would not be strong enough to do it.

But on the flip side, I am also loving all of the extra family time we are having. I think living in isolation like we are has made me realise how we were living life in such a rush before all this happened. Everything was to a time or a routine and you get caught up in doing everything that should be done as opposed to living more in the moment. My days mostly consisted of getting up, getting dressed, tidying the house, doing the school run, coming home, making tea and then going to bed. There wasn’t much time for anything else. Everything was to a schedule which I do like, and I will be glad when we get back to some sort of normality but I have liked not having to say to Kory as much ‘oh we’ll have to do that later, we’ll do that in a minute or you’ll just have to wait’ because in hindsight, we’ve alllll the time in the world.

Living in isolation has taught me to live more in the now and to not take anything for granted, to appreciate the little things in life like being able to pop round to see my Nan and grandad just because for they are the big things. But that doesn’t mean that I have to enjoy what’s happening right now or even pretend like I’m coping when I’m not. I’m sure no-one is happy about what’s happening right now and many of us are finding it difficult. So I just figured if I was open and honest about my struggles then it may encourage other people to be as well. It’s okay if you’re fed up, feeling sad, scared or lonely, even if we are all in agreement that our current living situations are necessary at the moment and what’s best for everyone.

So that’s how I’m really coping in isolation. I hope you’re all okay? I know we may not be able to be there for each other in person but I’ll always be here for anyone who needs it. Feel free to message me any time.

Look after yourselves and your loved ones, everything is gonna be okay.

Kirsti, xo

Activities to do with the kids whilst in isolation

Hi! I hope you’re all well? So here as promised is what activities me and Kory have been doing together whilst in isolation.

First up is our ‘Sunshine painting.’ We painted our Rainbow and displayed it in our window and now we’ve painted a sunshine to go with it. This activity is really easy to do and lots of fun for the kids.

All you need for this one is:

  • Paper
  • Yellow shaded paints
  • Pen

And here’s how to do it:

  • Simply get out all of your yellow shaded paints and let the kids go crazy on the paper.
  • Once dried, write some words of positivity on your picture. We chose the words ‘Be happy.’

Kory really enjoyed freely being able to be as creative as he liked with this one. He made his sunshine by mixing all of his different shades of yellow paint together and then by putting lots of yellow painted handprints on top of each other until he’d covered the paper with them. The only thing he asked me to do was to draw a smiley face on his picture and to write on it for him.

Next up, Kory did a couple of activity sheets that came in a magazine he had. (This was before his school had emailed over their learning pack for him.)

Kory did a few of these and because he was able to do them by himself it kept him busy for a while and meant I was able to sit down with a cup of tea!

If you don’t already have some pages like this available at home, there are lots of different ones that you can find online to print off. Obviously choose some that are tailored to your own child’s age and/or ability.

The next activity we did was we did a bit of reading together. Kory was really into the story so I managed to make an activity out of this one as well and this could be done with any story that your child likes.

We read ‘The very hungry caterpillar’ and after we’d finished reading the story Kory was keen to know more so we spoke about caterpillars and butterflies for a while and then we made our own together.

As I said earlier, this could be made suited for your child with any book that they particularly like and you could use anything you like to extend the activity.

We just used:

  • Scissors
  • Paper
  • Pens

To make a butterfly and for the caterpillar we just folded paper we’d cut out! But you could use whatever you like.

  • Read The Gruffalo? Paint a picture of The Gruffalo
  • Read The Rainbow Fish? Learn about fishes and draw your own Rainbow fish

We’ve also:

  • Made a den
  • Done some drawing
  • Got Kory involved with making dinner

The activity ideas are endless! We really don’t need to put ourselves under any pressure to be organised or to have an itinerary for the day. Kory is quite happy to spray the kitchen down with multi purpose cleaner! Just remember that we don’t need to be ‘perfect’ at this. Being stuck at home whilst trying to keep the kids engaged for days on end is something we’re all new at. We’ve never been in lockdown before! So don’t put yourself or your child under any unnecessary pressure. I’m sure your child is enjoying spending all this extra time with you no matter what it is that you do together.

Thanks for reading. I hope you liked this blog post and if you did please give it a like, or a comment and share it with your family and friends. It’s much appreciated!

Love,

Kirsti, xo

Lockdown week 1

So that’s week 1 of this lockdown done and dusted! Well done to us for getting through it! If like me you’re a parent and you’re trying to juggle taking care of the house, keeping the kids entertained (which doesn’t sound any different than my normal day to day life to be honest except in normal circumstances if the kids are driving me crazy then we can go out!) whilst also trying to remain calm yourself and trying to homeschool (I never thought that’s something I would have to try and figure out but here we are!) then pour yourself a glass of wine or whatever it is that you like to drink and give yourself a pat on the back because we got dis! Oh and when the kids go back to school treat their teacher to something nice because I’ve only been doing this for a week to just one child (my own!) and that’s been hard enough! How do they teach a whole class for pretty much a whole year and not lose their minds?! I can’t even get my own child to sit and listen to me! I feel like I owe Kory’s teachers an apology for only ever buying them coffee mugs and that sort of thing, they deserve an all inclusive holiday and not just a coffee mug but an unlimited supply of coffee because seriously, coffee is what has gotten me through this week. I can handle their being a toilet roll shortage but if their was a shortage of coffee I don’t know how I’d have ever coped!

So, I know I’ve been posting and sharing our isolation activities with you during the lockdown so i’m sorry if you was hoping to hear from me over the weekend too discussing how we’d kept ourselves busy during this time. I do hope if you have been stuck for ideas of your own that you’ve found my previous blog posts to be helpful but my reason for not posting any of our activities on here with you over the weekend was simply because we didn’t do any.

Kory wouldn’t have been in school on those days any way so I decided after almost a full week of doing a different daily activity with him that I wasn’t going to do any education based activities with him on these days and instead we just relaxed together. We just spent the weekend sat in our pjs, eating Nutella, watching movies, going on the iPad and playing on the playstation. And it was nice. Life has been craaazy lately, not just for us adults but for our kids as well, there’s been some big changes made for them too so it was nice for us both to just be able to forget about everything that’s going on for a while and to just enjoy each other’s company.

It’s crazy to think that we’ve been in lockdown for just over a whole week. I’m not sure if this time has passed by quickly or dragged but either way, we’ve made it and you have too! So be proud of yourself!

Everything is gonna be okay.

I promise I will be back tomorrow with a new blog post for you catching you up and sharing with you what activities me and Kory have been doing together since Monday. I hope this helps and just remember, although it may not feel like it because it feels like everyone is worlds apart… We’re all in this together and we have all got each other.

Stay safe and take care,

Kirsti, xo

Day 4 & 5 in isolation

Hi, it’s me again! Just popping in to let you all know what activities me and Kory have been doing to pass the time during the isolation period. I hope you’re all well.

Day 4 consisted of playing with play doh, making our own bird feeders and baking cookies.

Kory loves the outdoors and he loves being outdoors. At the moment as you will already know, everyone is confined to their own homes but we are blessed with a nice sized garden and we’ve been lucky enough to have some lovely weather too so at least he’s been able to play outside. Because of this, I wanted to do an outdoor themed activity with Kory and making our own bird feeders seemed perfect.

Here’s what you will need:

  • Pipe cleaner
  • Honey hoop type cereal

Here’s how to do it:

  • Simply thread your cereal onto the pipe cleaner
  • Once the pipe cleaner has been filled with cereal, fasten both ends of the pipe cleaner together in a knot to form a circle and to finish

And there you have it! You’re very own bird feeder!

Next up we did some baking! Nothing fancy – just a £1 cookie baking pack. Kory really enjoyed baking his own cookies but I think he enjoyed eating them even more! We do a lot of baking together as it’s an easy way to pass the time even when you’re not stuck in isolation!

Yesterday we made a wishing jar. The idea is that Kory adds wishes that he’d like to come true once everyone including us is free to leave their homes again.

He added wishes like:

  • Go to the beach
  • Buy a fun toy
  • Go back to school

It was a nice activity to do together, it’s also something that will be nice for us to keep but at the same time it was quite sad too, for me at least anyway. It made me realise how much I took for granted just everyday life before all of this happened. Like being able to take Kory to school, being able to just pop to the shops and having the luxury of being able to buy things that we need. I for one will surely feel different about life once things do go back to normal again. I will certainly appreciate the little things in life more for all of this happening has taught me that they are actually the big things. What has happened is truly sad but maybe it’s taught us a lesson we all needed to learn.

If you would like to make your own wishing jar, here is what you will need:

  • An empty jar
  • Paints
  • Paper
  • Pens

Here’s how to do it:

  • Paint your empty jar whatever colours you’d like
  • Leave to dry
  • Whilst drying, write down your wishes on a piece of paper
  • Cut out your wishes
  • Once the jar is dried, place your wishes inside

And that’s it!

We also:

  • Did some recycling
  • Played in the garden

That’s it from me for now. I do hope you’re enjoying reading these blog posts. If you decide to make any of the above, I’d love to know how they turn out! Once again, thanks for reading.

Remember to take care of yourselves,

Love,

Kirsti, xo

‘You’re their parent not their friend.’

I have heard, read and seen this be said so many times to other parents, mainly from other parents and while I can see where they are coming from and what they’re trying to say. My children honestly are my best friends. They’re my very best friends and sometimes my only friends! And I can’t help but wonder, Is that such a bad thing? I don’t think so.

Don’t get me wrong, while I will always be their parent first and foremost and of course as their parent it is my job to teach them right from wrong, discipline and how to be good people. I think it’s also my job to make them feel safe and let them feel like they can come to me about absolutely anything. I think I can manage doing both and I think all of those things are equally as important as each other.

Growing up I was always close with my mum and I can’t ever imagine my children not being that way with me. I want that closeness and despite what other people think, I think that’s healthy and good for children to have that. If my children can’t come to me with their problems then who can they come to? I hate the thought of them ever feeling like they wouldn’t be able to talk to me, their mum. I would imagine not being able to confide in your parents can make you feel very lonely and I don’t want that for my kids. I am the one person they should be able to come to about anything no matter what it is without feeling like they’re gonna be judged.

I think being open with your children is so important and how better to do that than to show them love and have a good relationship with them by forming a friendship. I am so proud to say that me and my kids do have very good relationships. Especially me and Kory with Kora only being 6 months old but I need those kids as much as they need me. We are so close and I wouldn’t change that for the world.

Ive made many mistakes as a parent but I don’t think being friends with my kids is one of them.

I wish I was a dad sometimes

I don’t want to offend anybody by writing this blog post. I can appreciate that being a parent whether you’re a mum or a dad is at times difficult but it just seems to me that society seems to be more accepting of dads, they give more praise to dads for a whole lot less, are more judgemental to mums and expect so much more from us mums but at the same time are so ready to pick us apart and let us know what we’re doing wrong.

Here is a perfect example of this:

On Monday I woke up feeling as though I had the flu. I was freezing and couldn’t get warm no matter what I tried, my body was aching all over, my head was pounding and I just felt nauseous. And so did Rory. We both felt awful but despite this, Kora still needed me to feed her bottles, to change her and to get her dressed for the day and Kory still needed me to make him breakfast, to get him dressed and of course he wanted to get out his toys and for me to play with him. So why Rory took the day off from work and got to go back to bed. I did what I needed to.

Now there is nothing wrong with Rory spending the day in bed recovering but had that been me who went back to bed, I’m sure I would have heard the following:

“That was good of him to take care of the kids for you.” Or “Did he not mind looking after them why you went back to bed?”

Um, I should think not – they’re his kids too!

Except when Rory went back to bed, no one said any of those things about me to Rory and that’s because as a mum, it’s just expected of me to do all the above and more.

Later on that day, my Nan rang and asked how we all were, I told her how I was feeling and she asked if Kory wanted to go to her house for a bit. I was so grateful. I knew he’d have a better time there than with me, the lurgy monster who felt as though I didn’t even have the energy to string a sentence together, never mind play superheroes and have him volleying off my head so after asking him if he wanted to go, I got him ready. Once Kory had gone, I phoned my Nan to see if he was okay, after letting me know that he was, she said that I should go and put my feet up for a bit now, which sounded perfect and was just what I needed but after putting the phone down, instead of making the most of this time I had by putting my feet up, I realised the house looked like a bomb had gone off so I made a start on that.

I did a whole load of washing, washed, dried it and put it away. Washed the pots, sprayed and wiped round everywhere, made the beds and hoovered all whilst feeling like a bag of shite. I suppose all that could have waited but if I didn’t do it then the truth is that it wasn’t going to get done that day and I would have only ended up trying to do it again later but when Kory was home.

By the time I’d finished doing everything I needed to do, Kory came back home but luckily, as much as I’d missed him he was so tired after having such a good day with his nan and grandad that he went straight to bed which did mean that I could have an early night myself which was definitely needed so it wasn’t all bad. I did eventually get to go to bed myself but only after I’d done everything that needed to be done and that’s my point to this post.

I wish I could just sack everything off and be like ‘Right, that’s me off back to bed then!’ But when you’re a mum and you’ve got kids to look after you can’t just do that, they never stop needing you. No matter how rubbish you feel. But for some reason it seems to be that it’s more acceptable for a dad to be able do that than it would if it was me, a mum. It’s expected of me to just be able to carry on as normal.

Now I don’t want anyone to think that I am knocking dads at all because I’m not. What i’m trying to say is that we seem to live in a society that puts a lot more pressure on mums to hold the fort. Kory and Kora have an amazing dad. He works really hard in order to provide for them and helping raise them and as much as I appreciate everything that he does, I can’t help but feel that he should do those things anyway. He is equally as responsible for our children as I am. We both made those babies, we both have a responsibility to take care of them. I know dads work hard to provide for their families, they might be exhausted at the end of the day and deserve a break but guess what? So do mums! I know dads work hard but so do I but without the breaks, without the pay and without sick days and so does every other mum whether they go to work or stay home with their kids.

So if you’re a dad that thinks you can clock off the minute you walk through the door because you’ve ‘been at work all day,’ then don’t! No one expects you to walk through the door and wash the pots, make tea, put 3 loads of washing in or scrub the floors but just run the kids a bath, get out their pyjamas ready for bed, offer to do the bedtime story tonight because as a mum, I can tell you that it makes all the difference. You’ll still get to put your feet up or play that game you’ve wanted to play, it’s just that by helping that little bit, us mums will be able to put our feet up at the end of the day too.

I know that there are good men out there that know how to contribute, I know this because I have one. Sometimes it’s not dads that are the problem. It’s society and their old fashioned views on parenting roles.

I wish I was a dad sometimes because it seems like it would be a hell of a lot easier than being a mum these days.

Making a change

If you read yesterday’s blog post, you’ll know that i’ve been feeling a bit low lately and i’m sure that many people who read what I wrote thought:

What problems do you have?

What have you got to complain about?

And they’d be right to think that because my problems are a lot less significant when I think about what problems other people are facing. I know that and there will always be someone who has it worse than you. I hate feeling down and stuck in a rut (who doesn’t?!) I don’t choose to feel this way and I’m not usually one for feeling sorry for myself, in fact I’m usually the person who everyone comes to with their problems but I’m only human myself and I just think things had got a bit much for me.

Since then I’ve had some time to think about things and I’ve realised that although I can’t necessarily help how I think and feel, if I want to change my mindset and how I feel then I’m going to have to actually do something about it. Sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself has never helped anyone. Life has a habit of trying to bring you down and it can keep you down too – if you let it.

I read a quote that said ‘Remember when you used to wish for everything that you now have’ and it really resonated with me. I used to dream of having a family of my own, a son, a daughter, a partner, a car, a nice home and to be happy and I have all of that. I am so lucky and I realise that but when you feel like I do, you could have everything in the world and you would still feel sad and that made me feel so guilty because what a waste. I have everything I could ever possibly want and I’m not going to enjoy it because I’m going to let my negative thoughts and feelings get in the way of that? I knew I needed to make a change.

I have already started to make changes. I read back to myself my blog post from yesterday and it was clear for me to see what the problem was/is. The problem lies with how I think.

So here is what I think I need to do to help with how I’ve been feeling:

  • I need to train my brain to think differently.
  • I need to remind myself that small inconveniences don’t have to be such a big deal.
  • And I need to think more positively.

Yes the knob on my oven has snapped clean off but at least the rest of the oven still works and the knob can be replaced.

Yes the headlight and side panel on my car are broken but at least I have a car that runs and these things can be repaired.

My phone screen has smashed but my phone still works and I can always get a new screen.

I feel lonely because people don’t spend much time with me and/or my kids? Then that’s their loss. I have my kids and they have me.

I am not a person who sits around and feels sorry for themselves, that’s just not who I am, it never has been and I’m actually quite embarrassed by how low I’ve let myself get. I thought about quitting but then I remembered who is watching… My kids.

So watch this space because I’m about to find Kirsti again…