Parenting is relentless

When you look at the above picture of me and Kory, you see smiles and we both look happy. We were having a good day together. I took Kory to Blackpool that day on my own, we went to the arcades, we had dinner, we walked along the beach, we had ice cream. It was lovely and I wish more days could be like that. But the reality is that not every day is. Some days are harder than others.

Parenting is amazing, being able to be a parent is a blessing and the parenting journey between you and your child is so special but it can also feel relentless. And pretty lonely too. If you’re a parent yourself, you will know what I mean when I say that parenting is relentless.

It never ends. The duties of being a parent and what’s expected of us. It never stops. It’s constant and it’s every single day, 7 days a week, 24 hours a day.

Every day I wake up and it doesn’t matter if I wake up feeling unwell or if I feel tired, I am responsible for another being who relies on me for their every need and how I feel is sort of irrelevant and that’s a big responsibility. I know as parents what society expects of us, to make sure that our children are fed a healthy balanced diet, that they are bathed and cleaned, dressed, educated, well socialised and played with, ect ect every single day and I’m okay with that, I know what I signed up for when I became a mum, believe me no one wants better for my child than me but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy for me to do. Not every day is all sunshine and rainbows and some days I just feel like I don’t have the energy to do what is required of me as a mother and the fact that I still have to get up, put a smile on my face and try my best is really quite overwhelming. So yeah, some days I do just stick chicken nuggets in the oven for Kory instead of preparing him some tea myself and you know what? I think he loves me more when I do that – chicken nuggets are his favourite! So who am I really punishing myself for? Kory or society? That doesn’t mean I’m gonna feed him chicken nuggets every day for the rest of his life but surely how I experience my own parenting journey with my child and what they will remember of it when they’re older and what they think of me is more important than how strangers online or even in real life are gonna view me because of my parenting choices.

Some days I plan lots of fun things for me and Kory to do together and we end up having a really nice, productive day and I go to bed at the end of the day feeling like a good mum who has her shit together but there’s also days when I feel like I don’t want to get out of bed, when I can’t even be bothered to speak let alone answer all Kory’s 16 hundred questions about why turtles have shells and what is our boiler for and I go to bed feeling riddled with guilt for maybe not having as much patience as I normally would and feel like a failure. But I’m only human and like anyone else, I can only take on so much. I do cry in front of my child, I get upset, I get cross but I can also apologise and I think it’s a good thing that he sees me express my emotions.

I read so many blog posts that talk about how mums should take care of themselves and how important self care is. And it is! It’s so important! I’m guilty myself of writing a few posts like that of my own, I realise the importance of taking time for yourself for your own sanity and in order to be the best parent that you can be but finding the time to do that is easier said than done. I can’t even remember the last time that I did something that was just for me and that’s because I just don’t have the time and when I think about it, what would I do anyway? Where would I even go? If you’re telling someone you know that they need to take a break but aren’t offering to help then maybe you aren’t being as helpful as you may think you are. I’m sure lots of mums would love nothing more than to run themselves a bath and to relax but what are they expected to do with the kids?

As you some of you already know, I’m a stay at home mum and I can bet that some people will read this post and say ‘you’re a stay at home parent. That is what you do, you stay at home with your kid.’ And wonder how I can complain about that. But I’m not. I love being a mum, I love being able to stay home and look after Kory but I can be both. I can both love being a parent and find it bluddy hard sometimes and want to vent by writing this post.

A lot of the time it is just me and Kory together. My partner works a lot and other than him we don’t really see anyone else. Sad, right? No one asks do I want to go anywhere with Kory or even just on my own, no one includes us in their plans, no one even asks how we’re feeling, not even a text. Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with Kory just the two of us and he loves spending time with me too but it gets lonely sometimes. At least for me anyway. The only person I have to speak to is my 2 year old son, I don’t interact with any other adults, I think I’ve actually forgot what it’s like to go out and to strike up a conversation with someone.

I’m not afraid to be honest and say that I don’t always enjoy being a parent, some days are harder than others and that’s okay. It doesn’t make me a bad mum for feeling like that. I shouldn’t feel bad for feeling like I need a break sometimes. I don’t love Kory any less than I would on a day when I’ve planned lots of fun activities for us to do compared to a day when I don’t feel like moving from the couch and would much rather just watch a movie with him and eat snacks together. I shouldn’t feel guilty for having a lazy day if that’s what I need to recuperate what little energy I have.

I guess what I’m trying to say by writing this post is that I know just how relentless parenting can be and just how lonely it can make you feel too. I know just how isolated motherhood can feel and it isn’t nice to say the least. So if you’re looking for a mum friend or just someone to chat to, I’m here.

A fellow mum who can totally relate to how you feel.

My life recently

Sorry you haven’t heard from me in a while. I know I have been a bit absent from my blog lately, but the truth is I haven’t been around much on social media either.

Honestly, I have no excuse to give you, I’ve just been feeling a bit shitty lately.

I’m finding this pregnancy a lot harder compared to when I was pregnant with Kory, I’m not sure if that’s because I’ve already got a toddler to run around after but I’m just finding it a lot harder this time round. I’m constantly tired, I have no motivation to do anything and I could just cry all day over.

On top of this, I have a horrible chesty cough, a cold that just won’t shift and I pee myself every time I cough or sneeze so I’m not loving life right now.

Not to mention how busy we’ve been trying to get everything prepared for baby number 2’s impending arrival. As some of you are already aware, Kory was born prematurely after my waters spontaneously started to leak and after having a recent consultation at the hospital, it looks like this baby may make an early appearance too as she is already head down and has been since 20 weeks! So not only are we worried about when she may decide to show, we’re trying to make sure that we are prepared for when she does which has proven to be quite hectic for us and our lives have been a lil’ crazy.

I’m really hoping that once things start to settle down I will be able to find some sort of balance and get back to writing blog posts more regularly again. Although I haven’t wrote anything lately, I have still been popping in every day as I love reading all of your updates and posts!

So, that’s been my life recently.

Thank you for reading, I hope this post didn’t bore you too much! I just thought i’d give you guys a quick update incase any of you thought I may have just disappeared off the face of the (blogging) earth which as you now know, I haven’t – I’m just a hormonal pregnant lady who is struggling to keep it together!

Happy Easter!

What a lovely bank holiday weekend we have had! The weather has been so gorgeous and warm which means we haven’t just been stuck in the house all weekend for a change! We’ve been able to walk all up the fields with the dog every morning, we’ve had the paddling pool out for Kory and we have been playing out in the garden in the sunshine every day!

I love that Rory has been off work and home with us for a few days because a lot of the time it’s just me and Kory and we miss spending time with him so more than anything I’ve really enjoyed spending time with my family this weekend.

Yesterday we decorated Easter bonnets together. I promised Kory the night before that in the morning he could decorate his Easter bonnet and he did not forget (I swear this kid doesn’t forget a thing!) and he took what I said quite literally too and first thing Saturday morning we was up out of bed and Easter bonnet decorating!

Check out that bed head!

Today is Easter Sunday and the Easter bunny has been to our house! This morning we had our yearly Easter egg hunt that has become a sort of tradition of ours, every year I leave little notes around the house telling Kory where to find his next Easter egg and this year he was so excited to join in and he did so with very little help from us too!

And of course after finding all of the eggs we had chocolate for breakfast because well… It is Easter after all!

And that’s not all… I have made us a buffet for dinner and plan to do some baking with Kory this afternoon before we head out this evening for our friend’s birthday meal.

So that’s been our weekend so far, we’ve been busy busy busy! I hope you have all had a nice weekend and a lovely day today also. Happy Easter, Everyone!

The Lonsdales, xo

DIY Play-Doh

This morning me and Kory made our own Play-Doh together!

I don’t know about any of you but I have bought so much Play-Doh over the years as Kory just mixes the different colours together and after a while they dry out and then I have to buy even more and store bought Play-Doh is not exactly ‘cheap’ to buy either, especially when you’re having to keep buying it all the time.

Truth be told, I was getting tired of buying the stuff just to throw it away again after a short amount of time but I knew that we’d have to have some in the house because Kory loves to play with Play-Doh. I knew that Kory’s nursery made their own so after asking them how do they make it, I was so glad when they kindly shared with me their recipe to make our own Play-Doh at home and I couldn’t believe how easy it was to make and how inexpensive too!

Kory did most of the making himself and I just observed – that’s really how easy it is! I found that it was also pretty fun to make together too and I love all of the different types of Play-Doh you can create yourself;

Scented, glittered, coloured, themed, ect! The possibilities are endless!

I don’t think I’ll buy Play-Doh from the shop again now that I know how to make my own. And it really is easy to make.

If you’d like to know how to make your own Play-Doh yourself at home, keep reading on because I am going to share with you how we made our own. You probably have all of the ingredients you will need already at home and it takes just 10 minutes to make!

So, without further ado. Here goes:

You will need:

  • 8 tbsp plain flour
  • 2 tbsp table salt
  • 60ml warm water
  • Food colouring or flavouring
  • 1 tbsp vegetable oil

1.) Mix the flour and salt in a large bowl. In a separate bowl mix together the water, a few drops of food colouring or flavouring and the oil.

2.) Pour the coloured water into the flour mix and bring together with a spoon.

3.) Dust a work surface with a little flour and turn out the dough. Knead together for a few minutes to form a smooth, pliable dough. If you want a more intense colour or smell you can work in a few extra drops of food colouring or flavouring.

4.) Store in a plastic sandwich bag in the fridge to keep it fresh. (Squeeze out the air first.)

And that’s really all it takes!

Do you make your own Play-Doh already? If you haven’t made it before and you decide to, please let me know in the comments!

Thanks for reading…

Eggcited for Easter!

I am so excited for Easter!

I love Easter because for me, it means spending time with my family because Rory has a rare, long weekend at home with us and we usually have lots of nice things for us to do planned but I’m even more excited for Easter this year because Kory is that bit older and he is looking forward to Easter as well. He has been asking me for weeks now when is the Easter bunny coming and will he bring him chocolate eggs if he’s a good boy!

And obviously there’s chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate…

This year, like every year, we plan to have an Easter egg hunt at home for Kory. I’m also going to put on a little buffet for him and we’re going to decorate Easter bonnets together. On Easter Sunday I would usually cook a roast dinner for us but this year, it happens to land on our friend’s birthday so we’re actually going to be going out for a birthday meal instead that evening so that will be a nice change. (No washing up for me at least anyway!) On the Saturday, we are taking Kory to an outdoor Easter egg hunt, it’s the same one we’ve taken him to for the past two years in a row but the grounds where the Easter egg hunt takes place are lovely so it’s a nice walk around for us and Kory really enjoys taking part and he loves being outside too.

We still need plans for Good Friday and bank holiday Monday but I’m sure we’ll be able to sort something out!

So that’s our plan for the Easter weekend so far. What do you like most about Easter and how will you be celebrating?

Mama Tag

I have been asked to take part in the Mama Tag by the lovely Rebecca over at With My Love & Courage. She was inspired to create this tag after watching the new mum/new mom tag videos on YouTube that were originally created by Emily Norris.

So, let’s get started!

1.) Favourite mum hack?

I don’t really have a favourite mum hack or even a mum hack at all. I like to think that I’m quite an organised person but the truth is when it comes to parenting I’m honestly just winging this whole thing and hoping for the best. Every day is a different challenge. Maybe that could be something for me to think about, what mum hack could make things easier for me?

2.) Most embarrassing mum moment?

My most embarrassing mum moment would be every time Kory acts up in public and I have to try and keep calm and stop his temper tantrum all whilst feeling everyones eyes watching and judging.

3.) My favourite part of the day?

My favourite part of the day is definitely tea time when Rory gets home from work. After a busy day it’s nice to see him walk through the door and it’s also nice when we all sit down as a family to have our tea and to watch tv together.

4.) My worst part of the day?

The worst part of the day for me is definitely morning. I have never been a morning person and that’s not about to change now that I’m a parent. It’s not that I hate mornings it’s just not fun being woke up really early every day when you still feel tired from the day before and hearing ‘mum mum mum’ whilst your eyeballs are only half open. I’m usually okay once that first cup of coffee hits my soul though.

5.) Worst thing someone said to you when you were pregnant?

Where do I begin! Well there was this one woman that asked me to lift up my top so that I could show her my belly so that she could see ‘how big I was’ – that made me feel really good about myself!

6.) A baby name you disagreed on?

There was loads of names that I really liked when we were choosing baby names and out of all of them my partner narrowed it down to just one so I would say we disagreed quite a lot but I suppose at the same time it did make deciding on a baby name a lot easier as well!

7.) Do you co-sleep?

We never co-slept with Kory when he was a small baby but if you class a toddler coming into your room in the middle of the night and climbing into your bed then yes we co-sleep.

8.) Baby products you never used?

I can’t think of any off the top of my head, we used lots of great products with Kory when he was a baby.

9.) Name 3 hospital bag must haves:

There are lots of useful things that you can pack in your hospital bag but my top 3 would be sanitary towels, trust me – you’re going to need them. Nickers, big comfy ones and lots of them and pyjamas, because that’s all you’re gonna want to wear for a while.

10.) Are you a go-with-the-flo or routine mum?

I guess I’m a bit of both really. I’m quite strict about some things, the things that I consider important such as bedtime because Kory can be a real grouch if he goes to bed too late which isn’t fun for anyone, making sure I keep his behaviour in check and I like to make sure he’s ate his dinner before he has any sweets and that sort of thing but I’m pretty easy going when it comes to everything else like screen time and what clothes he wears.

11.) What sort of labour and pain relief did you have?

I had a pretty straight forward labour considering Kory was born premature, I gave birth to him naturally and had gas and air for pain relief.

12.) Have you ever been mum shamed?

Yes on quite a few occasions actually. Once by a health visitor when Kory was around 4/5 months old because I gave him rusk with his milk which was my decision, another time when he was a bit older, I’d took him to the weigh-in clinic and because he’d had a sick bug which was the main reason for me taking him, it was pointed out to me rather rudely that he hadn’t put much weight on, I’ve been mum shamed online for giving my child ice cream, I’ve been mum shamed for giving him an iPad and I’ve been mum shamed for letting him climb into bed with us. It used to bother me a lot when I first had Kory but as he’s grown older and I can see that he’s happy and healthy and that he’s obviously not come to any harm from any of those things it bothers me a lot less. It’s so easy for other mums to have their say on how you parent when they’re sat behind a screen, or for people who aren’t parents themselves to judge because they haven’t a clue what they’re talking about. When you’re a young, new, first time mum these can all seem like big, important things but they’re really not. You just have to do what works for you and your baby, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

13.) What have been the biggest challenges?

My biggest challenge as a parent has been trying to be the best mum that I can be even though I never believe in myself. It’s hard enough raising a child but when you constantly doubt yourself and think that you must be doing something wrong or that someone else other than you would be able to do a better job it’s a lot harder. A lot lot harder. I’m constantly in a battle with myself and I’m my own worst enemy but I do like to think that I have come a long way from the young, naive, first time mum that I was and that I am growing into a more confident person and giving myself a bit more credit where it’s due when it comes to being a parent.

14.) What is the best advice that you’ve had or been given?

The best advice that I have been given is simply just being reminded that I am Kory’s mum and that I know him best. A lot of judgement comes with parenting and when it comes to making decisions for your children, it can be easy to doubt yourself even when you know deep down in your gut that it’s what’s best. Many times I have made a decision regarding Kory and then changed my mind about it through other people voicing their opinions and having their say just for it to turn out that I was right and should have just listened to myself to begin with. This is something that does get a little easier the older your child gets. Being a parent to a new baby is scary!

15.) Who is your mum crush?

I know so many amazing mums in real life and follow so many fabulous mums on Instagram that I would feel a little unfair just choosing one, I think we’re all doing a fantastic job!

So that’s all from me. Thank you for reading my answers to the questions asked! I hope you enjoyed reading them. I would like to ask Megan over at www.withabandme.wordpress.com to take part in this tag. I look forward to reading her answers!

Happy Mother’s Day

I have been well and truly spoilt by my boys today. I am so lucky and beyond blessed to have both of them in my life. My partner because without him I wouldn’t have my son and my son, Kory, because without him I wouldn’t be mum.

I woke up this morning and was instructed to stay in bed so I started the day by watching tv in bed, I had breakfast made and brought up to me and I was given some lovely gifts to open too which was really nice. When I did eventually come downstairs, the house had all been cleaned and tidied and there wasn’t a single thing that I needed to do so I literally haven’t moved all day. But get this, it gets even better than that, I’m also being taken out for my tea later as well!

I am definitely feeling the love today!

From the minute I get up out of bed, every day I usually run around like a headless chicken trying to make sure that everything is done and taken care of; that Kory is fed, watered, cleaned and dressed which is a challenge in itself when he doesn’t want to have a wash or brush his teeth or when he would rather kick me than put on pants. Making sure that the house is cleaned and tidied, not that that’s majorly important but I just hate the mess and would rather get it out of the way which is easier said than done when you have a toddler that just wants to play, then the mum guilt sets in… Even the pets need feeding, brushing and walking. So where do I come into all of this? Well the truth is I don’t! It’s actually quite difficult trying to juggle everything on your own whilst still trying to be the best parent that you can be. There isn’t time for anything else. Being a mum is by far the hardest thing that I have ever had to do but it’s also the best and most important thing too but that doesn’t make it any easier. So it’s nice to be appreciated and to not have to worry about all of that stuff for just one day.

So today in honour of all mums; working mums, stay at home mums, our own mums, those that are with us and those that have sadly passed, step mums, foster mums, nans or anyone who has just stepped in and been a mum. Today is for you. Today is for us.

Let’s celebrate being mums by putting our feet up with a brew and letting someone else look after us for a change! I think we’ve earned it.

I’m tired today

I’m tired today but not because of Kory waking for once, or because I got up to use the bathroom or because I was just generally unable to sleep. I’m tired today but for a totally different reason…

Why does inspiration for my blog have to come to me at 4:30am?

Last night I lay awake in bed in the early hours for around an hour and a half just tapping away on my phone like a mad woman, noting down all of the ideas for my blog that had suddenly just popped into my head before I forgot them! After weeks of feeling uninspired, having no motivation to blog regularly and having no idea what to write about on my blog, i’m glad that the inspiration to write and the different ideas came into my head but did it have to be at that time in a morning?!

I’m tired today and I have to say I’m kinda glad that Kory is in nursery this morning just so that I can enjoy a coffee in silence and try to unfrazzle my brain.

When I’m not lay awake in the early hours jotting down blog content ideas, I like to stay inspired in other less, tiring ways. Such as:

  • Reading other blogs
  • Working on my blog on the go from my phone
  • Writing down in a note pad ideas that i’ve had/got
  • Writing about what’s currently happening in my life right now
  • Thinking about where I want my blog to go and what I want to achieve from blogging
  • Reading my previous blog posts from the past and seeing how far I’ve come
  • Sharing my honest experiences with you and asking for advice

All bloggers go through spouts of finding it hard to think of new and different things to write about regularly. So those are just some of the ways that I keep myself feeling inspired and motivated.

Do you ever find yourself feeling uninspired and struggle to think of things to write about when it comes to your blog? What inspires you to continue writing?

P.S. I don’t know why my coffee looks so strange on this picture but I can assure you that it tastes nice!

Why I want another baby

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Kory is 2.7 years old now (Where has that time gone?!) and I can remember going to the hospital and being in labour like it was just yesterday. Many people say you forget about the pain that you endure during delivery and even afterwards over time but I can honestly say that I have not and it’s something that has stuck with me and i’m sort of glad that it has. It’s not an experience i’d like to forget. Even if it wasn’t always pleasant but despite this, this has not put me off wanting just one more baby.

I think i’ve always wanted one more baby. I can remember feeling so overwhelmed after delivering Kory and even crying because the experience was over with, not just out of relief but because I was sad that I would never get to deliver him again. (I can’t explain this one, crazy hormonal women think crazy things!) But that’s how I felt. When I looked at him, touched him, held him and smelled him for the first time everything just faded away, that moment was so special, nothing else in the world mattered and i’ve always craved to feel that again. Watching him grow up has been so bittersweet. It’s been incredible to watch him learn, grow and reach milestones but at the same time, i’ve always felt a little sad too that I won’t get to watch him achieve these things for the first time ever again. I also loved being pregnant and was sad when my bump disapeared even though the baby that I grew was now in my arms. As well as all of this, I’ve always known that I wanted a sibling for Kory to grow up with, play with and share memories with too.

So call me crazy because i’ve already got my hands full with a very adventurous, independent and strong willed 2 year old that drives me up the wall daily but I want another baby and here are some of the reasons why:

  • Newborn babies smell sooo good. New babies just have this heavenly smell and I could just breathe it in all day. I don’t think I stopped sniffing Kory or his clothes for weeks!
  • Snuggles. New babies with their soft, smooth skin sleep a LOT which is the perfect oppurtunity to dose up on those snuggles. Everything else can wait! I’m so glad that I made the most of Kory being little and snuggled him at every chance I got. Now that he’s a constantly on-the-go toddler, the only time I get to snuggle him properly is when he naps – which is never by the way.
  • Newborn babies are the sweetest. Most people will tell you that the newborn stage is the hardest stage; lack of sleep, night feeds, ect and it is tough but don’t listen to those people. I would swap toddler tantrums for night feeds any day of the week! A newborn baby has never screamed at me because I told them that they couldn’t have sweets until they’d ate their dinner…
  • Re-using newborn items again. I kept so many of Kory’s blankets, teddies, clothes and baby grows from when he was a baby. I even kept his prep machine! I’m not one to be wasteful and just felt like I couldn’t part with them so kept them should the time come that I will be able to use them again. Re-using Kory’s old baby grows and clothes would be so cute to see another addition wearing them, being able to take pictures, putting them side by side and looking at the comparisons.
  • Play mate. I would love nothing more than to give my son a friend for life, a play mate and who better than his own sibling!
  • There is no greater love than the love that you have for your children. Parenting has its challenges for sure but the pros far outweigh any cons.

 So call me crazy but I want another baby and those are my reasons why.