Happy Father’s Day

I would like to wish a very special Father’s Day to the most incredible man who I am so lucky to call my partner and daddy to our children. We are blessed to have someone as kind, thoughtful and as caring as you in our lives.

Rory, up until having a child of our own together, I’d never really had a reason to celebrate Father’s Day before so I want to try to make all of yours as special as I can. You are an amazing dad to Kory, you would do absolutely anything and everything for either of us and for that you deserve to enjoy your day.

But I don’t just want you to know how special you are today, I want you to know how much we appreciate you every day.

I honestly don’t know how my life would have turned out had I not met you, you have given me two beautiful children and in that time I have watched you grow as a dad and bond with Kory and I am so excited to watch you do it all over again with baby K. I feel beyond fortunate, I love our little family and the lives we have created for ourselves. We have been through so much together and it hasn’t always been easy but I am so proud of you and you should be too.

I guess what I’m just trying to say is Happy Father’s Day, Rory. But I worry that I simply can’t put into words how much you truly mean to us and that there is no amount of actions that would ever be enough to thank you for everything you do and continue to do for us. We want to thank you for being the best daddy and we want to thank you for all of your love, care and hard work but above everything we just want to thank you for being you.

We love you!

Dads don’t get enough credit

You could argue that us mums have the hardest and most responsible role to take on throughout the pregnancy, birth and even afterwards and we deserve all the support we can get but who supports dads?

If recent events have taught me anything it’s that dads do not get enough credit where it’s due or support. My partner is an amazing person and an amazing father. He works so hard to support us financially and he supported me tremendously through our most recent ordeal. What we went though was in no way any easier for him but unlike me, he didn’t receive any messages of support, no-one checked in on him, no-one asked if he was okay, all the attention seemed to be on myself and the baby and yet despite all of this and how hard it must have been for him as well, he remained strong for me and he did so without any support.

Up until writing this blog post, I hadn’t really given this any thought before.

So to my partner who is always there for me no matter what, who never lets me down or face anything by myself, I see you. And I see all of the other amazing fathers and husbands too. I see that you’ve tidied the house every morning before work while I’ve been on bed rest, I see that you’ve made me breakfast and even dinner and put it in the fridge for me, I see that you took Kory downstairs for me so that I could sleep in, I see that you have played with him and kept him busy when he was getting a bit fussy, I see that despite working hard you have come home and made tea for us, I see that you’ve run me a bath and ordered me to relax, I see how you try to make me laugh when I don’t even feel like smiling, I see the way you see me, how my body and even I as a person have changed but I’ve never doubted that you love me, I see the way you love me and take care of me when I have carried our children and how you would do absolutely anything for us and above everything I see how committed you are to supporting your family and the pain you experienced too after everything we’ve been through.

While not every father is deserving of praise, not let’s forget to give recognition to those ones that are. Let’s not forget to empower fathers too the way that mothers are encouraged to empower each other.

To my partner, I don’t know how I would have got through any of this without you. Thank you for always being by my side.

I see you and everything that you do even if other people don’t.

Trust your own body

Sorry you haven’t heard from me for a few days. I actually had a few blog posts planned that I wanted to share with you all but the other night baby K gave us quite the scare and I just haven’t had the time to update you all since.

On Sunday evening, I told Rory I was going to lie down upstairs for a while as I just felt ‘off’. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it but I just didn’t feel right. About half an hour or so past and I started experiencing what I would describe as tightenings in my stomach. They weren’t painful but they were a bit unusual and nothing like I’d ever felt before. I left it another 30 minutes or so until I noticed that the tightenings started to get more regular and a bit stronger. That was when I decided to give the hospital a ring and explain my symptoms to them. Once I’d spoken to them they were eager to get me in and seen to as I have already had one pre term birth already so are at risk of having another.

Upset, I got my things together and dropped Kory at my mums house which was upsetting in itself as he was a bit confused as to why he needed to go there just as I was getting him ready for bed and I really didn’t want to leave him.

Once me and Rory arrived at the hospital, we were seen to very quickly. Which other than the obvious was just as well really because I was a wreck. I couldn’t stop crying. I hadn’t stepped foot back in the hospital since having Kory and seeing the nicu where he spent the first two weeks of his life was all just a bit too overwhelming.

One of the midwives took us into one of the delivery suite rooms and asked me my symptoms again and how I was feeling. I told her what had happened and that I wasn’t in any pain just a bit of discomfort. After that she checked me over and I couldn’t believe what she said next. She informed us that what I was experiencing was actually full blown contractions and that our baby could possibly make an appearance that very same evening at just 26 weeks gestation but that they would try their absolute best to stop the contractions.

We were in complete disbelief, I was inconsolable and I can honestly say I have never seen myself in a state like that before. I just couldn’t keep it together and fell to pieces in the hospital room. I remember just screaming and looking around the room frantically. I was having flash backs from when I had Kory knowing that what we went through then was hard enough with him being born at 34 weeks yet this baby was going to be here at just 26 weeks! I was worried she wasn’t going to make it and every time I thought about how small she was going to be I cried harder.

That night we had to stay over at the hospital and after lots of medication, drips and observations the midwives did manage to slow down my contractions and luckily my cervix hadn’t opened and my womb wasn’t reacting to the contractions meaning that it wasn’t likely that I was going to give birth.

The next morning I was moved to another hospital just as a precaution incase the contractions started again so that I could deliver her at that hospital instead of my chosen hospital as they don’t take baby’s below 27 weeks gestation as opposed to this other hospital that have a bigger nicu. After more observations and still no sign of anymore contractions, the second hospital were happy to send me home which is where I have been since Monday evening.

But we are still not out of the woods. They can’t tell me what brought the contractions on, a few theories was that I may have just over done it or that I had an irritated bladder which had interfered with the wall of my womb but these are all just guesses. I have been given strict orders by the midwives, nurses and consultants to take it easy and to rest and that if the contractions start again I am to go straight back to the hospital and they will repeat the same procedure again to prevent the contractions again. So that is exactly what I have been doing. I hate sitting around while everyone else runs around after me, I feel like a bit of an invalid but I understand that for at least the next few weeks to keep baby K cooking hopefully a whole lot longer it is what’s necessary.

Throughout the whole of this ordeal I honestly don’t know how I would have got through any of it without Rory. He is my rock and he was so strong for both of us despite being just as scared as I was but he remained level headed and kept it together and supported me through everything. I am so lucky to have this man in my life, he is amazing. Dads do not get enough credit.

All of the midwives and nurses were amazing and I have them to thank for keeping our baby safe. Our NHS is brilliant and we are so blessed.

I also owe massive thanks to my mum for taking care of Kory and my Nan and grandad for taking care of the house, pets and everything else and even me today while Rory had to work.

That was one hell of a scary experience, quite possibly the scariest thing I have ever had to go through in my entire life and I hope we don’t have to go through it again any time soon or ever again but no matter what happens we have so much support and I am so grateful for everyone around us.

So please if you’re reading this, keep your fingers crossed for us and hope that baby K stays in for quite some time yet!

The differences between my first pregnancy and my second

Discovering I was pregnant again is so exciting for us all. I often wondered how different this pregnancy was going to be compared to my first and it’s been so different in more ways than I ever imagined. Not necessarily different in a ‘bad’ way but different.

Other than bringing another life into our family which we feel incredibly blessed to be able to do, another one of the positives of being pregnant for a second time round is that although this pregnancy has been totally different from when I was pregnant with Kory, it’s because I’ve been pregnant before that I’m able to have more of an understanding this time round, I’m less worried because I know what to expect and in some ways more relaxed.

And in other ways not so much… I already have a toddler to take care of who keeps me very busy and always on my toes and throw being pregnant into the mix as well and that’s probably the reason why I feel so tired this pregnancy. Being pregnant for a second time has been difficult for me. Once I got past the morning sickness (something I never had during my first pregnancy) then came the exhaustion. When I was pregnant with Kory, it was just about me and the bump. I was encouraged to ‘relax’ and ‘take it easy’ and I could do just that, I could put my feet up whenever I felt I needed to or run myself a bubble bath. Where as this time round, I’m still encouraged to do all of those things except it’s not as simple as just putting my feet up, I have to wait until Kory finally goes to bed in the evening before I can even think about parking my backside down at which time I’m usually ready for bed myself and I suppose I could run myself a bubble bath but 9 times out of 10 Kory will want to climb in it with me.

As well as all of that, I feel really bad that I haven’t provided a single update or picture about my pregnancy this time round. When I was pregnant with Kory I documented everything. I posted weekly updates, not just for my family and friends but for myself, I talked about how many weeks pregnant I was and how I was feeling, I shared how big bump was measuring and things that I’d bought for our expectant baby and it’s not that I haven’t done any of those things this time because I don’t care or that I don’t love this baby as much or that I’m not excited but it’s because I just haven’t had the time! Since our pregnancy announcement this is the first blog post that I have wrote and shared that is about this pregnancy and I’m 25 weeks pregnant!

So I think it’s safe to say that there has been many differences between my first pregnancy and my second, some harder and some easier than others and it’s true what they say, no two pregnancies are the same. At least in my case anyway.

What was most different for you in your pregnancy the second time round?

Southport Food Fest

Yesterday I had a really good day attending the Southport Food and Drink Festival with my partner, my mum and Kory. We all tried lots of different foods from around the world and ate lots of yummy treats! We ate chilli, cheese, guacamole and salsa covered nachos, fries covered in cheese sauce, steak burgers and so much more. This is our third year attending the Southport Food and Drink festival and every year we all always really enjoy ourselves and come home with lots of goodies!

Yesterday we came home with cordial, flapjacks and homemade scones. As if we hadn’t ate enough already!

The festival usually takes place once a year over the first weekend in June, entry is free and it is set in the beautiful Victoria Park so that when you’ve chosen from the 100 different food and drink stalls, you can sit on the grass, relax and enjoy the atmosphere. There’s also craft stalls, local bands playing and even a puppet show to entertain the kids.

If you love food then the Southport Food and Drink Festival is the perfect day out for you and your family. There is something for everyone to enjoy.

I mean just look at these chocolate covered strawberries!

So that was our Saturday, I hope you all had a nice day too. Let me know what you got up to in the comments section!

https://www.visitsouthport.com/whats-on/southport-food-and-drink-festival-p150071

* This is not a sponsored post. *

Kory’s first cinema trip

It’s the bank holiday weekend and it’s raining as usual. This morning I was thinking of ideas of what we could do together as I didn’t want to spend yet another day just sat at home, I wanted to make the most of Rory’s time off from work as well and thought it would be nice if we could take Kory somewhere indoors to do something instead of being stuck inside the house.

Then I remembered that the new The Secret Life of Pets movie is out! So today Kory got to experience his very first cinema trip.

This morning we got up and ready and we took Kory to our local Cineworld to watch the new The Secret Life of Pets 2 movie as the first one is one of his absolute favourites! We had held off taking him to the cinema any sooner because we wanted to take him to watch a movie that we knew he’d enjoy so that he wouldn’t get bored and so that we wouldn’t waste money so this showing seemed like the perfect opportunity to give it a go.

Before we went to find our seats inside, we made sure that Kory had been to the toilet, that we had enough drinks and snacks for the duration of the film and I had a little chat with him too just explaining how once we’re sat down in our seats to watch the movie, we’re not allowed to walk around as the room will be dark and we could trip so it’s important that he tries to sit still. Having never taken Kory to the cinema before, we didn’t know what to expect, we wanted to try and make the experience a positive one for us all and therefore tried to be as prepared as we possibly could. Our child might be very good at listening but he’s not the best at sitting – but at 2 and a half years old we can’t blame him for that really!

Once seated we got off to a bit of a bumpy start, Kory didn’t like that the seats in the cinema moved every time he sat up/moved on it as he thought he was going to fall through it and he didn’t want to watch the trailers that were playing, he wanted ‘pets on!’ As he said! I honestly thought this was how he was going to be throughout the whole of the movie but after we got past the seat issue, the trailers had gone off and the movie began to play, he was okay but a short while after that he did decide to fall asleep!

Yes, my child. The same child that doesn’t nap at home for me during the day anymore spent about an hour asleep in the cinema! …Well I suppose you can only be so prepared!

It wasn’t all bad though, at least me and his dad got to watch a movie together in peace and Kory enjoyed what short amount of the movie he did get to watch. In fact, I think Kory would like to go to the cinema again and I think next time we take him he will have more of an idea of what to expect and we can all relax a little.

I think the next time we go we’ll take him to see Toy Story 4. Another one of his favourites!

So that was Kory’s first cinema trip. Does your child like going to the cinema? Or are they yet to visit? Let me know in the comments!

* This is not a sponsored post. *

Parenting is relentless

When you look at the above picture of me and Kory, you see smiles and we both look happy. We were having a good day together. I took Kory to Blackpool that day on my own, we went to the arcades, we had dinner, we walked along the beach, we had ice cream. It was lovely and I wish more days could be like that. But the reality is that not every day is. Some days are harder than others.

Parenting is amazing, being able to be a parent is a blessing and the parenting journey between you and your child is so special but it can also feel relentless. And pretty lonely too. If you’re a parent yourself, you will know what I mean when I say that parenting is relentless.

It never ends. The duties of being a parent and what’s expected of us. It never stops. It’s constant and it’s every single day, 7 days a week, 24 hours a day.

Every day I wake up and it doesn’t matter if I wake up feeling unwell or if I feel tired, I am responsible for another being who relies on me for their every need and how I feel is sort of irrelevant and that’s a big responsibility. I know as parents what society expects of us, to make sure that our children are fed a healthy balanced diet, that they are bathed and cleaned, dressed, educated, well socialised and played with, ect ect every single day and I’m okay with that, I know what I signed up for when I became a mum, believe me no one wants better for my child than me but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy for me to do. Not every day is all sunshine and rainbows and some days I just feel like I don’t have the energy to do what is required of me as a mother and the fact that I still have to get up, put a smile on my face and try my best is really quite overwhelming. So yeah, some days I do just stick chicken nuggets in the oven for Kory instead of preparing him some tea myself and you know what? I think he loves me more when I do that – chicken nuggets are his favourite! So who am I really punishing myself for? Kory or society? That doesn’t mean I’m gonna feed him chicken nuggets every day for the rest of his life but surely how I experience my own parenting journey with my child and what they will remember of it when they’re older and what they think of me is more important than how strangers online or even in real life are gonna view me because of my parenting choices.

Some days I plan lots of fun things for me and Kory to do together and we end up having a really nice, productive day and I go to bed at the end of the day feeling like a good mum who has her shit together but there’s also days when I feel like I don’t want to get out of bed, when I can’t even be bothered to speak let alone answer all Kory’s 16 hundred questions about why turtles have shells and what is our boiler for and I go to bed feeling riddled with guilt for maybe not having as much patience as I normally would and feel like a failure. But I’m only human and like anyone else, I can only take on so much. I do cry in front of my child, I get upset, I get cross but I can also apologise and I think it’s a good thing that he sees me express my emotions.

I read so many blog posts that talk about how mums should take care of themselves and how important self care is. And it is! It’s so important! I’m guilty myself of writing a few posts like that of my own, I realise the importance of taking time for yourself for your own sanity and in order to be the best parent that you can be but finding the time to do that is easier said than done. I can’t even remember the last time that I did something that was just for me and that’s because I just don’t have the time and when I think about it, what would I do anyway? Where would I even go? If you’re telling someone you know that they need to take a break but aren’t offering to help then maybe you aren’t being as helpful as you may think you are. I’m sure lots of mums would love nothing more than to run themselves a bath and to relax but what are they expected to do with the kids?

As you some of you already know, I’m a stay at home mum and I can bet that some people will read this post and say ‘you’re a stay at home parent. That is what you do, you stay at home with your kid.’ And wonder how I can complain about that. But I’m not. I love being a mum, I love being able to stay home and look after Kory but I can be both. I can both love being a parent and find it bluddy hard sometimes and want to vent by writing this post.

A lot of the time it is just me and Kory together. My partner works a lot and other than him we don’t really see anyone else. Sad, right? No one asks do I want to go anywhere with Kory or even just on my own, no one includes us in their plans, no one even asks how we’re feeling, not even a text. Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with Kory just the two of us and he loves spending time with me too but it gets lonely sometimes. At least for me anyway. The only person I have to speak to is my 2 year old son, I don’t interact with any other adults, I think I’ve actually forgot what it’s like to go out and to strike up a conversation with someone.

I’m not afraid to be honest and say that I don’t always enjoy being a parent, some days are harder than others and that’s okay. It doesn’t make me a bad mum for feeling like that. I shouldn’t feel bad for feeling like I need a break sometimes. I don’t love Kory any less than I would on a day when I’ve planned lots of fun activities for us to do compared to a day when I don’t feel like moving from the couch and would much rather just watch a movie with him and eat snacks together. I shouldn’t feel guilty for having a lazy day if that’s what I need to recuperate what little energy I have.

I guess what I’m trying to say by writing this post is that I know just how relentless parenting can be and just how lonely it can make you feel too. I know just how isolated motherhood can feel and it isn’t nice to say the least. So if you’re looking for a mum friend or just someone to chat to, I’m here.

A fellow mum who can totally relate to how you feel.

My life recently

Sorry you haven’t heard from me in a while. I know I have been a bit absent from my blog lately, but the truth is I haven’t been around much on social media either.

Honestly, I have no excuse to give you, I’ve just been feeling a bit shitty lately.

I’m finding this pregnancy a lot harder compared to when I was pregnant with Kory, I’m not sure if that’s because I’ve already got a toddler to run around after but I’m just finding it a lot harder this time round. I’m constantly tired, I have no motivation to do anything and I could just cry all day over.

On top of this, I have a horrible chesty cough, a cold that just won’t shift and I pee myself every time I cough or sneeze so I’m not loving life right now.

Not to mention how busy we’ve been trying to get everything prepared for baby number 2’s impending arrival. As some of you are already aware, Kory was born prematurely after my waters spontaneously started to leak and after having a recent consultation at the hospital, it looks like this baby may make an early appearance too as she is already head down and has been since 20 weeks! So not only are we worried about when she may decide to show, we’re trying to make sure that we are prepared for when she does which has proven to be quite hectic for us and our lives have been a lil’ crazy.

I’m really hoping that once things start to settle down I will be able to find some sort of balance and get back to writing blog posts more regularly again. Although I haven’t wrote anything lately, I have still been popping in every day as I love reading all of your updates and posts!

So, that’s been my life recently.

Thank you for reading, I hope this post didn’t bore you too much! I just thought i’d give you guys a quick update incase any of you thought I may have just disappeared off the face of the (blogging) earth which as you now know, I haven’t – I’m just a hormonal pregnant lady who is struggling to keep it together!

Happy Easter!

What a lovely bank holiday weekend we have had! The weather has been so gorgeous and warm which means we haven’t just been stuck in the house all weekend for a change! We’ve been able to walk all up the fields with the dog every morning, we’ve had the paddling pool out for Kory and we have been playing out in the garden in the sunshine every day!

I love that Rory has been off work and home with us for a few days because a lot of the time it’s just me and Kory and we miss spending time with him so more than anything I’ve really enjoyed spending time with my family this weekend.

Yesterday we decorated Easter bonnets together. I promised Kory the night before that in the morning he could decorate his Easter bonnet and he did not forget (I swear this kid doesn’t forget a thing!) and he took what I said quite literally too and first thing Saturday morning we was up out of bed and Easter bonnet decorating!

Check out that bed head!

Today is Easter Sunday and the Easter bunny has been to our house! This morning we had our yearly Easter egg hunt that has become a sort of tradition of ours, every year I leave little notes around the house telling Kory where to find his next Easter egg and this year he was so excited to join in and he did so with very little help from us too!

And of course after finding all of the eggs we had chocolate for breakfast because well… It is Easter after all!

And that’s not all… I have made us a buffet for dinner and plan to do some baking with Kory this afternoon before we head out this evening for our friend’s birthday meal.

So that’s been our weekend so far, we’ve been busy busy busy! I hope you have all had a nice weekend and a lovely day today also. Happy Easter, Everyone!

The Lonsdales, xo